Carrie Diaries

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | 1 USERS: B+
Winter Formalities

Even though it's 1984, no one is wearing a hideous 1980s formal dress. I am disappointed. Maggie and Seth go to spike the punch as Mouse hides somewhere to do her homework. Meanwhile, at The Nutcracker, Dorrit is being difficult and Tom is like, "Shhh, teenage daughters, yikes."

Back at the dance, Maggie is bummed to be alone during a slow song, and George is trying to get Carrie drunk. Sebastian and Donna roll in and meet George. Donna plays it exactly right. Maggie is leaving the dance, and Office HotBody is there patrolling the outside of the school. He also wants to make out with Maggie, who is drunk and lonely, so she consents. Mouse gets to her teacher's office at 8:07 and the door is locked; she slides the assignment under the door, then gets caught by the janitor trying to break in to turn in her homework.

Back in the gym, George tells Carrie how incredibly sexy she is. Ughhhhhhh stop. Sebastian watches them slow dance angrily. Carrie confronts Sebastian about staring at them, and Sebastian confronts her about trying to make him jealous. Carrie goes to make out with George to prove she doesn't care about Sebastian, and Donna sees Sebastian looking hurt as Carrie and George leave to do some heavy petting in the limo.

At the ballet, Tom has fallen asleep and Dorrit is upset. She is embarrassed and tells Tom she knew he wouldn't get it because he doesn't get anything. He tells her he's trying, but then admits that he is resenting her. He makes Dorrit feel bad enough to admit that she feels weird now that it's just her dad.

Back at Mrs. Holzman's office, Mrs. Holzman admits that since Mouse is such a good kid she probably really was just trying to turn in the assignment. Mouse asks if this means she can have the extra credit and Mrs. Holzman is all, "cut your losses and take the B+. You turned the assignment in late." What a jerk. You are what's wrong with public school, Mrs. Holzman.

Donna LeDonna has also decided to cut her losses, and goes outside to toss her empty bottle of booze into the bushes. She catches Maggie getting out of the cop car, obviously having just had sex inside it, parked right in front of the school. Maggie tells Officer SexBang it will never happen again, then denies him a kiss. Donna confronts Maggie about it drunkenly in the hallway, and blackmails Maggie to keep Carrie away from Sebastian.

In George's limo, George is groping Carrie and pressuring her into sex. Carrie says no, and George accuses her of "dangling it in front of a guy then not giving it up." Carrie tells him she's a virgin, and George says even though most guys hate that, he's totally cool with it. He sucks. George being a complete douche sobers Carrie up really quickly, and she almost allows George to redeem himself until he offers to let her give him a blowjob to get rid of that stiffy. Carrie breaks up with him and exits the limo, but not before George can tell her how good she's got it. This is a great reason to leave that dumb law firm internship.

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Carrie Diaries




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