Carrie Diaries
Dangerous Territory

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Divine Canapé

Carrie's job at the Law Offices of Boring and Plotfiller have her sorting files by color, then carrying stacks of too many files around the office. Someone's gotta carry those files, I suppose. While carrying stacks of files around, Carrie bumps into "a cute guy" named George. It's a classic meet-cute, and Carrie is smart enough to notice that something surreal is happening.

She handles the meeting with grace and the wit most adults can't muster (but not all adults are teenage Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, none of them are, by definition). George is actually some guy who got poison ivy on Carrie when she was four. She shouldn't be expected to remember that, but is right in pointing out that George is pretentious. George, while schmoozing the ever-unscrewable Barbara, asks Carrie to some big fancy City Soiree, because everything good happens to Carrie and even the bad stuff that happens is still pretty good.

That reminds me, I would like to see another Carrie Diaries but about Carrie from the movie Carrie. I guess the movie Carrie serves as that Carrie's Carrie Diaries, what with her coming of age and setting the prom on fire and all with her mind. Maybe that will happen at George's mom's soiree and the show will finally take a turn for the interesting.

We learn at the diner that Carrie said no to the fancy party and her friends are like "buh-HUH?!" Carrie says George is pretentious, his parents are strange, and she just has too much going on. Her friends know what's really going on, though -- it's Sebastian. I'm over Sebastian, so can't Carrie be?

Mouse is talking about Seth, and Maggie mentions that maybe Mouse is bad at sex because he broke up with her right after having it. You know Maggie... always talking about sex. Now that Maggie and Walt have done it, he "wants it all the time." Ugh, I despise this character and any storyline involving her.

Maggie has some good advice for Carrie, though, however misguided. She recommends that Carrie make herself unavailable to Sebastian. Carrie says she doesn't want to play games with him, but then what was that whole reading his private files thing about? Do something evil, Carrie. Or at least get a bucket of pig's blood dumped on you.

Meanwhile, Tom (the dad) calls his awful friend, who is not so busy sexually coercing a woman that he can't answer his giant car phone. Tom can't find his wedding ring and worries he may have lost it at the gym after a squash game. I will forgive that Tom plays squash, but why is he friends with this horrible douchebag? Harlan the Douche jokes about a hot girl named Misty. The woman Harlan is with laughs at this joke. Don't laugh at that non-joke -- you're no better than the rest of us dumb sluts if you do.

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Carrie Diaries

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