Carrie Diaries
Fright Night

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Just Say No
ack in Connecticut, Tom is scaring kids with his wookie costume, and Dorrit is eating all the candy, watching Poltergeist and sass-mouthing her dad.

Carrie somehow managed to keep Larissa from jumping, and now has her set up in her bed (this was in her house or apartment?). Larissa talks about the quote, "no man is an island," and notes, however briefly, that everyone in Manhattan is an island. It is a sad and very real moment for Larissa, who has no friends except this high school senior who thought she would put a piece of construction paper on her tongue. Carrie thinks it's wonderful that everyone gets to be their own island because then she wouldn't have to run into Sebastian wahhhhhhh. Way to relate your high school problems to real, adult problems, Carrie.

"It's exhausting being fabulous," Larissa tells Carrie, all sweaty, still wearing novelty eyelashes. Larissa says she doesn't want to be an island anymore, that she wants to be a bird, which is somehow different? Carrie notices that everything she admired about life in New York was misery-making. Lady Di has some things to think about.

Meanwhile, downstairs, or however the layout of this party works, Walt and Bennett are talking about Janice Dickinson and how pretentious someone can be if they just live in New York. Bennett encourages Walt to "take the leap, what's the worst that could happen?" City people love to speak vaguely.

At the most boring party of all, Mouse wants to leave and Maggie wants to stay and drink and keep pretending to be interesting. Mouse finds Pac-Man to play and wow, what a great scene. I want to watch it over and over again.

City Bennett and High School Walt seem to be having the exact opposite conversation that Carrie and Larissa just had. Bennett says that in the city, everyone is packed in so tight that everyone knows everyone's business, and Walt says he enjoys his privacy in Connecticut. Bennett keeps acting like he's doing everyone a favor, and Walt has him touch his chest to feel how quickly his heart is beating. It must be love, and not the side-effects of drugs. Bennett kisses Walt, and Walt backs off screaming, "I don't like guys! I like girls! I'm not gay or anything!"

Bennett tells Walt it would be OK if he was gay, and that he is gay. He, too, enjoyed a beard back home in high school, but Walt will not hear it. He calls Bennett a fag, in a moment without even a fraction of the gravitas using the word bore when Glee did it a couple years ago.

Walt runs away, and Carrie runs off to find that hot guy, leaving Larissa to choke on her own vomit. Mouse and Sebastian play Pac-Man against each other, then bond talking about their parents and smoking a joint. Dorrit gets scared watching Poltergeist alone. Maybe Sebastian/Dad isn't so bad after all.

Carrie tries to flirt awkwardly again, but she is really better at helping people than she is picking up gay men. Bennett admits that Walt ran away, and Carrie worries about him wandering the city streets alone, high on drugs. Wandering the city streets alone in the '80s would be enough to make me worry.

Walt has slowed to a pensive walk and comes across two gay men holding hands, who are quickly threatened and verbally assaulted by some no-good hoodlums. Walt breaks it up and the couple runs away, as the thugs turn their attention to Walt.

"This has nothing to do with you," they tell Walt, "unless you're one of them." Walt is defensive, but curious. He asks the thugs why they care, and happy to share their opinions, the thugs tell Walt that it is their opinion that homosexuals are freaks.

Instead of hitting the streets to find Walt, Carrie reprimands Bennett in Larissa's bedroom. They walk in to discover someone dressed as... the Beast from the live action drama Beauty and the Beast dry-humping Larissa. Carrie asks him what he's doing, and the he-cat does not seem to care that Larissa is asleep. He tells Carrie that five minutes ago Larissa was "into it," and that she's weirding him out so he's going to go find someone else unconscious to rape. Well, no one used the "r-word" because we already got dinged for using the "other f word" in this episode.

Carrie feels bad for leaving Larissa alone "to get groped." Bennett says Larissa got herself into this mess. He's such a prince, that guy. Bennett does not admit to trying to kiss Walt, but Carrie shames him into staying with Larissa. Carrie threatens Bennett against trying to take advantage of Larissa and he says, "Oh honey, she's not my type." Then, all of a sudden, Carrie figures it out. Maybe it was the over-effeminate way Bennett started straightening the bed linens.

Meanwhile, at Sebastian's private booze party, Maggie's cop friend, Officer F**kbuddy, comes into the party asking for IDs. Sebastian's defense that it is a private party is a weak one, and I don't know why the diner wasn't ever worried about getting some pretty serious fines. Maggie offers to handle things with her cop with benefits by offering him sex in return for not checking IDs. He refuses her time and time again. He's not as into it now that she is single. All of a sudden he remembered that he technically committed statutory rape and if Maggie can't have him, she'll lord it over him. She returns to the party to find Mouse high from one puff of a joint. Oh man, everyone is so high.

Carrie finds Walt, who isn't sure he can be "a part of this world," which is some pretty heavy shit that yet again, gets brushed aside. They chit-chat, Carrie assures Walt he's high, and Walt does not come out to Carrie or himself.

Walking home, Carrie finds Sebastian and stoned Mouse on her doorstep. Sebastian was worried about Mouse because of all the outrageous side-effects of pot, and for the first time I see that Sebastian is more Carrie's speed. Carrie decides that Sebastian is not such a bad guy after all, and Walt decides that he is not such a gay guy after all and shows up at Maggie's mysteriously parent-free house to kiss her. He tells Maggie he needs her, he needs the comfort of a beard until he can go to a liberal arts college.

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Carrie Diaries




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