Lying is the issue at hand, as Carrie finds herself grounded but wanting to continue living her fabulous and easy life. The Carrie narration (the Carration, if you will) points out every single instance of a bent truth. She's not known for subtlety, this Teen Carrie. Carrie is grounded; Sebastian, Archnemesis Donna LeDonna, and Maggie are horny, Walt is not horny for ladies. Mouse has nothing better to do than spy on Sebastian and report to Carrie.
Sebastian and Donna cross paths at the Country Club. She coyly propositions him, and Mouse tells Carrie about it. Sebastian is quickly caught in a lie, after Donna returns his jacket to him the next day at school. Sebastian tells Carrie that even though he "likes to party," he didn't do anything with Donna except smoke pot.
Maggie and Walt, Carrie's other friends, are having their own minor struggle as Maggie wants to have sex but Walt doesn't because he is a closeted homosexual. No one has figured this out yet, in Carrie Diaries land.
At her internship in New York City, Carrie is tempted by Larissa to get away so she can get her purse in a photo shoot for Interview Magazine. Carrie seizes the opportunity when her supervisor, "Bitchy Barbara," asks Carrie to run some errands. Carrie stays at the shoot for a ridiculous montage, and gets back to the office an hour and a half late. Just when we think there will be consequences for our young heroine, it turns out Carrie did everything right and lying serves her very well in this instance.
High on lies, and reaching paranoia about Sebastian and Donna thanks to Mouse, Carrie propositions Sebastian to meet her at the swim club. The swim club is actually a pool, and Carrie and Sebastian actually swim there, so I don't really see the problem except that Dorrit showed up to hang out with Carrie at the pool and Carrie didn't want to so she could practice CPR on Sebastian. I'm really surprised no one used the CPR excuse, but this isn't that kind of show.
So Dorrit, rejected, tells their father about Carrie's dalliance. Dad Bradshaw shows up at the swim club, catching Carrie tongue-kissing Sebastian. It is the one time in this episode about lying that Carrie gets caught in a lie. It's a half-lie, and perhaps Dadshaw acknowledges that, as she is not punished. He asks Carrie not to see Sebastian anymore, because he knows his family and hears he's trouble.
Meanwhile, Maggie doesn't want to wait on Walt anymore, who is waiting at her door to try to pretend she's a man while he puts it in her for the first time. Maggie does stuff, at least heavy petting, with some young cop/sheriff and asks him to hold her, but it doesn't even make sense to do that in a back seat. All this happens while Walt realizes he does not love Maggie "in that way." They break up, thankfully, because there was no joy in that relationship, even for us as viewers.
Carrie and Dorrit are back to getting along. Sebastian is totally fine with Carrie not going out with him, just as he was all along when she was grounded. Carrie, Dorrit, Mouse, and Maggie, end the episode making peanut butter sandwiches and laughing at nothing, because sometimes it's OK to lie to yourself, too.
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Carrie and Sebastian are totally into each other, y'all. They are looking into one another's eyes/souls and it is somehow a metaphor for The City. Man Hattan, the not-so-subtle twelfth man on this team, may not have eyes as beautiful and humongous as AnnaSophia Robb's, but it is "honest and totally awesome."
Larissa, Carrie's British black friend, wants to borrow Carrie's purse (which used to belong to her dead mom), for a photo shoot. My god, nothing is all happening so quickly. Carrie, whose life is very immediately perfect, feels like nothing can stop her, " ... except maybe Donna LeDonna and her minions." I just don't agree with that, though. Donna LeDonna isn't really doing anything except being kind of a bitch. Sure, maybe she uses Carrie's mom's death to make her look like a more sympathetic human, at least she did in the first episode, but let's see this bitch drop some pig's blood on a ho.
Carrie is also grounded for coming in past curfew, even though her dad didn't notice that she was drunk off of champagne, and the City. This totally sucks because she and Sebastian are whatever the modern version of dating is. They used to call it "talking" but I'm not sure that's even a thing anymore. Crushing. Shipping. Oh, wait, it's the 1980s, so surely there is some John Hughes-inspired word for it. Bagging? The only bag here is the hopeless old one -- me, watching this show.
Sebastian tries to kiss Carrie against a door, but the door opens up to reveal Carrie's three friends: Mouse, Maggie, and Walt. Mouse is the shy Asian one. Maggie and Walt are an item, but Maggie is slutty and Walt is secretly gay, so they are decidedly not bagging. This is all you need to know about them. I won't even question where they were hanging out, which at first I thought was the bathroom but am now thinking is maybe a hallway or a small room where Carrie keeps her friends.
Being grounded is not so bad, it turns out, because Carrie can have more vaguely erotic moments with her sister, Dorrit. They're washing the car, spraying each other and having a soap/sponge fight. Normal sister stuff. Carrie's blank slate of a father also notices that grounding brought his daughters closer together. And who is he to shy away from a fun car-washing hose fight? Actually, a better question would be, who is he?
Creepy Sebastian Kidd calls Carrie and tries to convince her to sneak out, as they sensually touch their clothes and phone cords (HAHAHA NO CELL PHONES. '80s.). Sebastian wants her to be bad, and Carrie just wants this show not to get canceled, so I bet she'll sneak out.
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