Carrie Diaries
Pilot

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 11 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Girls Just Wanna Have Inner Monologues
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

"It's always the same dream," The Carrie Diaries begins, with the classic Carrie Bradshaw narrative. Yes, I think to myself, it is always the same dream. Young girl wants to go to New York and make it big and wear beautiful clothes and write columns like a regular Carrie Bradshaw. Except this time it is Carrie Bradshaw. Not that many viewers of this show can be expected to know what that means.

Really, who is this show for? It's not for older fans of Sex and the City, who wouldn't bother with this show; and it's not for fans of Gossip Girl because it doesn't have the sex or the camp. So it's for tweens who have a vague idea of who Carrie Bradshaw is and are about to re-define it? Let's go with that for now.

Anyway, Carrie isn't talking about a dream like the dream of being on Buh-roadwayyyyyyy. She's talking about an actual recurring dream. (Do people really have those? They must if people keep referring to them in movies and TV shows.) But then she gets bumped out of her New York haze and out of her dream.

"I always wake up the same old Carrie Bradshaw," the narration says, as though we didn't know the significance. The original version of "Melt With You" is underscoring this moment so hey, history lesson, it's the 1980s. Like most teenagers (FART), Young Carrie Bradshaw knows exactly what she wants to do with her life. Yes, that was a sarcastic fart. Nobody knows anything, especially not at 16ish. Though I guess being "a writer" fits in pretty well with this whole "dream" we're talking about.

No 16-year old pre-Sex and the City wants to be a sex columnist, though. And I don't think we'll ever be referring to The Carrie Diaries as such an influential square in our television crazy quilt. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and this is getting way, way too meta. Young Carrie Bradshaw doesn't know what Sex and the City is because it's the '80s, and because she is Carrie Bradshaw, and hypothetically exists within the same charmed world Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw would. Ow, Carrie Diaries, you makin' my head hurt.

And hold the phone, Carrie has a sister? A GOTHIC sister. A gothic sister who hides pot in her top drawer, which Carrie finds only seconds after opening said drawer in search of "Mom's purse." Then Carrie and her sister slow-motion fight to eighties music, and I am really not sure who this show is for now.

This purse is clearly a big deal, and nobody is making a big deal about "Dorrit," the first weird name of this show, written by bored people who read too much Sweet Valley High.

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Carrie Diaries

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