I was hoping that this week's Carrie Diaries, coupled with the premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 5, would be about throwing shade. The title of the episode is "Read Before Use," but Carrie's narration at the beginning explains that a different kind of reading is fundamental. She's talking about the importance of reading labels. I'm glad Carrie will keep letting us know what each episode is about, because I don't think I can pick up on the subtlety and nuances offered by The Carrie Diaries

But Carrie is right, in this instance -- it is important to learn which labels each one-dimensional character holds because a show like this really doesn't have time to build depth. So there's the Jocks and the Class Clowns, and the Bitches (Donna) and the Bad Boy (Sebastian). The only one without a label seems to be Carrie, which is suspicious because a girl that pretty and interesting by comparison should at least be Popular.

Carrie mislabels Sebastian as "The Boy of My Dreams." In case you missed last week's riveting episode, Carrie's friend, Mouse (the Nerd), gets us caught up. Carrie's dad won't let Carrie see Sebastian because of some country club, white collar, one-percenter snobbery. Carrie mistakenly thinks her dad sees her as perfect and too good for any boy. Parents just don't understand, and neither do kids.

As an Asian, Mouse knows all about never being able to meet her parents' expectations. Maggie, the other friend, is a Slut, so her parents have very low expectations. She fears that her parents will blame her for her breakup with Walt, but I kind of feel like they might not care all that much. Are parents really that invested in their teenagers' relationships? Are viewers? These teens seem to think so.

Carrie and Mouse label Maggie as a "Drama Queen," and when the acting doesn't quite measure up, the dialogue insists this is a true facet of Maggie's personality. Speaking of drama queens, Carrie is spending more time with Larissa than makes sense with her internship schedule. Larissa, perennial giver of bad advice, tells Carrie that if the boy isn't bad, he's no good.