Cut to: Carrie's dad buying tampons. What a bumbling, tampon-comparing fool. He asks a woman in the feminine hygiene aisle for help. He tells her all too soon that his wife is dead and he is raising two daughters on his own. They strike up a friendly conversation, reminding me that this is right around the time when women would have been more careful talking to attractive, sympathetic strangers. But maybe, for this woman, enough years have passed since Ted Bundy's incarceration that she could finally go out and talk tampons without feeling like it would lead to something even bloodier.

Celia, this woman who does not watch the news and is bold enough to recommend a tampon size, gives Dad Bradshaw her number in case he has any more questions about the female anatomy (wink). He does not, but Celia's stealth grab of some female lubricant on her way out of the aisle seems to have its intended effect.

At Boring School, Sebastian is boring. He wants to make plans with Carrie or something. Then he asks her to listen to the new album by The Cars, and Carrie quickly deems it "fantastic." I am decidedly un-wooed.

At home, Carrie asks her father to re-consider his judgments on Sebastian based on his family. They are totally two star-crossed lovers who were too busy making out in the pool to find out how Romeo and Juliet ends. Irritatingly to Carrie and us, her father won't say why she is not allowed to date Sebastian and instead asks her to drop it. I hope it's something good like an affair or a drug deal or a murder. Is one murder too much to ask of this show?

Evidently, the Kidd elder is one of Carrie's dad's clients. What does he do again? Legal ...? Whatever, more importantly, Dad forgot to buy Dorrit's Stouffer's French Bread Pizza, which is not three things but one, which must have been discontinued because Mr. Bradshaw didn't know to buy it anymore. Update: it is apparently a real thing and I can see why it is Dorrit's favorite. I guess I'll just have to make my own out of Stouffer's, french bread, and pizza.