Carrie Diaries
Carrie Diaries

Episode Report Card
Carla Patton: C | 102 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Parents and Kids Just Don't Understand

Larissa pressures Mouse and Carrie to donate to the vagina show. Mouse runs away, scared. Carrie gives in to peer pressure more easily and sees a porn star's vagina. Carrie, who has obviously not spent time with a hand mirror yet, evaluates the vagina and faces her fear. Then, the porn star pulls Carrie up on stage and tells her not to relinquish her vagina, then asks her to show it to the crowd.

Tony (Tony? Tom, apparently) tries his luck at the singles bar with the old tampon story. Tampon talk is not as charming at a bar, it turns out, as it was to that weirdo at the store. Tom also talks about how his daughters don't get along and is just about to lose the hot piece he's talking to when he mentions that his wife died. This information is like catnip for women, you see. The woman gives Tom her number on a napkin kiss and pretty much promises him sex. Tom's creepy friend encourages Tom to use his dead wife to his advantage on the field.

"It's the greatest pick-up line of all time," Douche Friend tells Tom. But Tom is too boring and good-hearted. Then, two terrible plots collide as Dorrit searches for Morrissey (oops, she stepped on a cupcake and thought it was a hamster. Comedy!), and Maggie shows up at the Bradshaw house with the remnants of the stuffed panda. Maggie starts acting more like a hoarder than a drama queen, associating memories with material objects, and the comedic effect of the scene goes down like a fart in an elevator. Lucky for Maggie, Dorrit knows how to hide things in giant stuffed bears.

At the Franklin Furnace, Carrie doesn't show her vagina. If this was an appropriate companion piece to Sex and the City, Carrie would have showed her vagina and forgotten that she is on her period and it would have been a real thing with everyone seeing her tampon or whatever. But instead, Carrie teaches Larissa a lesson about what showing your power really is, and like any conflict on this show, it is immediately shrugged off and resolved.

Carrie Diaries

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