We've skipped over several major holidays, landing on a week after Valentine's Day to find Carrie and Sebastian happily dating, Walt and Donna happily making out, and Mouse furiously competing against a black athlete at her school for better grades. It all starts with a Rubik's Cube, and becomes far too much of a thing. Speaking of things I didn't want this episode to bother me with, Tom is getting semi-anonymous blow jobs from an aerobics instructor at his gym and only feels a little weird about it.
Carrie likes Sebastian so much that she worries it's too much. She takes Mouse's advice to be carefree and easy-going, but it is so contrary to her nature it just gets her in even more trouble and confuses Sebastian. Carrie and Sebastian have earned themselves a couple nickname, before those were a thing, and rather than suffocating her, Sebastian's coat is causing Carrie the fear of losing it all. That's the way we do things, isn't it, girls? We just take something nice and then over-analyze it until it's ruined the way we need our lives to be.
Walt and Donna are dating, and getting along like gangbusters. It's only a little disconcerting to Donna that Walt only wants to do well, girl things, like shopping and watch each other try on clothes. Usually men want to watch Donna take off her clothes, which she attempts for Walt but gets pushed off the bed. She asks him straight up if he's gay, and he tells her he doesn't know. They agree to still be friends, which I think is the best idea for both of them, and I want them to have a spin-off show where they move into an apartment together in New York and it's better than this season of Glee.
Dorrit has been assigned to choose a day in history with meaning to her and after researching it at the library for a while, she sneaks out to research it further while Carrie and Sebastian are making out on the couch. Carrie fights with Sebastian after he figures out that Dorrit went to the Chelsea Hotel because she is obsessed with the Sex Pistols. Carrie goes to Manhattan, against her father's will, to find Dorrit. Eventually she does, but only after Sebastian gets there first. It doesn't matter that they went to the city for several hours, though, because Tom is at the gym trying to figure out "modern women" the whole time. He talks to Larissa and decides to let Carrie back into her internship at Interview.
Mouse challenges a new character, academically- and physically-superior black kid Wes, to a Rubik's Cube-off after he solves it in seconds in the hallway. She beats him, but the friendly rivalry continues because Wes is still #1 in their class, and he plays sports, and has snappy dialogue. Wes is a welcome addition to this cast. While you were reading this recap, Tom was at the gym getting a blow job, then talking about it to anyone who would listen.
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Couples update: Carrie and Sebastian are a thing, Maggie and Walt are not, but Walt and Donna are. Mouse, Tom, Dorrit and Larissa are all single that we know of. Starting out the show, Carrie is still dreaming of Interview Magazine, literally. In her dreams, there are Arabs and miniature ponies, and her hair looks less '80s. But Carrie isn't allowed to go to Manhattan anymore after she got busted dancing in the club. Maybe now she can actually go to some classes at her high school.
Without her career to think about, Carrie can focus on more important things like boys. We learn in the first few minutes that we were robbed of a Carrie Diaries Valentine's Day episode, which seems even more pivotal than say, a Thanksgiving episode. I guess we skipped Christmas and New Year's, too, come to think of it. Boooo.
Sebastian's black friend, Wes, walks by and calls the couple "KyddShaw," which can mean one of the two things. One: this show is blatantly ignoring that celebrity couple nicknames were not officially a thing until Bennifer, which was not in the '80s, or two: black people are, as ever, way ahead of the trends that white people don't catch on to until 20 years later.
To remind us that we're still in the '80s, Carrie and Sebastian walk up to Mouse, who is trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Stealing a line from The Wedding Singer, Carrie deems those things "impossible," and says no one will ever solve it. Mouse says she has solved it and aims to do it again. Then, the black guy at school interrupts to get to his locker. He's wearing a varsity jacket so he's presumably a jock, which is why he has never seen a Rubik's Cube. It's totally not a race thing, or a socioeconomic thing. Wes is actually smart, and possibly a Rubik's Cube shark, as he solves the cube in a matter of seconds. An academic rivalry is born.
After school, we assume, Walt is giving Donna a massage. She says it's the best relationship ever, and Donna has dated a lot of people. She says usually she has to get all dressed up and wear lots of makeup and be pouty and flirty, but with Walt she can just be herself. Yes, Donna, this is one of the many benefits of having a metropolitan gay friend. They don't care about your boobs.
At the gym, A slutty aerobics instructor is hitting on Tom while he stretches for racquetball. I think this is the slutty girl at the gym Harlan was talking about on Thanksgiving. She invites Tom into her office/a massage parlor and starts kissing on him and moving ... ahem, down South. Tom probably just lets it happen.
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