Cashmere Mafia

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Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now!
Conference Call

Previously, Mia got engaged then dumped, but she was promoted to Publisher of Barnstead Magazine Group. Zoë ran through an entire nanny in one day. Caitlin started dating a lady. Juliet found out that Davis was cheating on her with Cilla Gray, a townie. She told Davis that, as retribution, she will be taking a lover. And I referred to the song "Melt With You" as originally performed by Modern Love which is wrong and not an actual music group as far as I know. It's Modern English and sometimes my fingers don't work right.

It's morning, and Mika's playing (I know I'm right about this one-- "Love Today") while the ladies all change their purses and get ready for the day and stuff. Zoë takes kid stuff out of her purse and smiles. Juliet stoically walks to her well-organized closet and chooses a bag, but does not yet take a lover. Caitlin dumps the contents of her bag on her bed and searches for toothpaste. Her toothbrush is already in her mouth. Strange. Who does that? This is all to lead up to Mia unwrapping a brand-new Gucci bag. It seems like a spiritual moment for her. She's wearing the most amazing outfit of leather pants and a blouse with white puffy sleeves and a black bodice with a cowl neck. It's crazy and I love it. And, her hair is super-sleek and tucked into a soft bun. Her assistant leads her into her new office. The assistant seems very happy for her.

There are all sorts of gifts and flowers laid out for Mia, presumably to congratulate her on her new job. She names "the Mayor, Graydon Carter, Howard Stern" as several of the givers. You'd never expect muffins from Stern, she informs her assistant, unless a stripper delivers them. Is there a service like that? I'm looking for a second job. You know, just some mad money. As Mia's looking at a shrub with sunglasses all over it and a card reading, "Your future's so bright, you have to wear shades" a nattily dressed man sneaks into the office. He announces that the gift is from him. "Grant!" They hug. She apparently started in the company as Grant's assistant. She tells him that he is working "with" her, not "for" her. She needs to get Ian Weber, a photographer, to agree to an exclusive contract with their magazine, Havoc. He is having a gallery opening the next night and she wants them to "do the double-team sweet talk." He stops her and tells her everything will be fine. Clive enters and says that he heard that Mia and Jack were no longer engaged -- Jack's a sore loser. Perhaps. Clive says that Mia has her priorities straight, and that he's glad he won't have to drink stale champagne at her office baby shower. Is that okay to say? I want to speak to HR at ol' Barnstead. He adds that he still has to worry about the baby shower scenario with Grant, and that he's had it up to here with the gays and their maternity leave. Definitely talk to HR. He tells Mia to see him when she has a minute, and leaves. Grant says that it's never good to get called to the office in this really passive-aggressive way. Grant's no good. He's an example from one of those "How To Deal With People At Work" articles that are all over your Hotmail account. He takes a pair of the sunglasses he gave Mia, puts them on, gives a gay flourish (in case we forgot; hey, we're already watching this show -- we are clearly familiar with gay) and leaves.

Zoë and Eric are walking their kids to school. Sasha is complaining that she doesn't have a Marc Jacobs bag. Wait a second -- she doesn't?! That's effing child abuse. The boy child (who has not been named yet) shows his parents the tree his class planted. He says that another class only planted an herb garden, and Zoë says that a tree is so much better. Eric tells her that she's not supposed to rank on the other classes, but she insists that a tree is better than an herb garden. I guess that's supposed to show us that Zoë is an uncommon mother, but I think it just shows that Eric is kind of a pill. Zoë says she would love to spend every morning looking at a new tree, which is an odd request, and Boy Child says that she could if she walked him to school every day. "I would love to, but Mommy has to work to make the money that hot-but-not-as-good-a-wage-earner daddy doesn't." She didn't really say that.

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Cashmere Mafia




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