Cashmere Mafia

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Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now!
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Conference Call

Juliet arrives at Caitlin's photo shoot. Caitlin hands Juliet over to two stylists, so she can remember that she's beautiful. So she can cheat on her husband.

Zoë arrives at Bitchy Sweatsuit Mommy's house to find her cooking tofu and veggies for her kids. They made an apple tart for dessert, so Zoë says they must have a line for play dates. Then, she looks at some sort of bulletin board (she knows to look out for those now) and sees that there is, in fact, a line for play dates. Bitchy Mommy suggests that the grown-ups have their own play date. Why don't both couples go out to dinner? The next night? Zoë is thinking of a clever way to blow off Bitchy Mommy when her kids hand her a box and say they made something for her. Zoë says that Bitchy Mommy shouldn't have, but Bitchy Mommy says it was no trouble -- Zoë should just agree to have dinner the next night. She does, and then opens the box to find a Working Mommy teddy bear. You push a button and it says, "I can't talk now, I'm on a conference call." Bitchy Mommy says that she had nothing to do with it. Zoë says it's "unbelievable." She thinks this bitchy mommy is out to get her.

Caitlin is having a high-powered phone call about the difference between "tweak" and "redo," as b-school grad women often do, when Juliet emerges from the style bus dressed like a total whore. She's wearing a one-sleeved red blouse, a super-thick gold and black belt, and a long black skirt. A 1950s European whore, but a whore nonetheless. Caitlin says it's time for Juliet to call Bobby Walsh. Juliet says she will...tomorrow. Then, she struts off. Caitlin doesn't believe her, so she calls Bobby.

Em brings in a failed math test to Davis and says that he has to sign it. He asks her if her mother has seen it. She says that she has. Juliet enters, and Em and Davis are stunned. He signs the test, and Em leaves. Davis thinks that Juliet's dressed up for him, so that they can work on things. Is that all you have to do to mend your relationship? Voluminize your hair? Anyway, he says that they'll start over the next night. They're going to Nobu. Suddenly, Juliet gets a text message saying she has to meet Bobby for drinks the next night. She's all sly and tells Davis that she can't go to Nobu; she has a date. Snap.

The girls are meeting for lunch. Caitlin says that she told Bobby there would be a b-school reunion, and that he was very excited to hear that Juliet would be there. Juliet says that she's not going. You made a contract, Juliet. Are you some sort of contract breaker? Zoë sits down and shows her awful bear, telling the girls about Bitchy Mommy. Juliet says that it's the classic Mommy War -- working women make stay-at-home mothers feel bad about themselves, so they try to guilt the working mothers. Oh really? The world really does revolve around these women. Zoë says that she doesn't want to have dinner with her. Mia says that, like they learned in b-school, she has to face the fire and take down her enemy. Where did she go to school, West Point?

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Cashmere Mafia

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