Cashmere Mafia

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Jeff Long: C | Grade It Now!
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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Mia decided that she would give it a go with the brain surgeon. Caitlin flirted with a guy. Zoë and Eric tried to negotiate their time commitments. Juliet threw Davis out of the mansion.

Plingy pling music and it's New York in the morning. This show is begging for a voiceover, but it can't have one. Zoë and Eric wake face to face. They kiss, and immediately one of the kids knocks on their door and says that there's a caterer downstairs. Eric didn't know they were having a dinner, but Zoë insists that she told him. They got the service at the auction for the school, and she'd moved it around so many times that they have to use it now. "The girls" are coming over for the food for which Eric and Zoë overpaid. Zoë runs out of bed to grab her Blackberry as Eric begs her to try to get "in sync" with him. She says she's sorry, but this is the biggest deal she has been a part of in years. He moves on and asks her what she wants to do about Thursday. What's Thursday? she asks. Bad move, Zoë. It's your tenth and last wedding anniversary. D'oh. Zoë tries to act like she knew, but Eric starts laughing, and Zoë is embarrassed. He says that he has not been "husband of the year" either. Gross. That sentence was so stupid. I'm trying, Cashmere Mafia! Don't make me hate your cliché ass. I haven't been Show of the Year either, but could we try to get in sync? Zoë says that she wishes she could stop the world, but that she didn't learn that in B-school. You gotta get your PhD for that stuff. The other kid screams for Eric: the kid's hamster won't move. Eric tells Zoë there will be no more hamsters.

At her office, Juliet thanks Davis for meeting her. They're being cordial. She asks him how he is, and he says he's lonely. But he's smiling. Davis is one dumb son of a bitch, but he must have a bad-ass life. He doesn't really seem to get anything. He tells Juliet that he's telling everyone that they are just in a trial separation, and aren't "lawyered up." Juliet says that she's doing the same. Then, Juliet shows Davis the laptop computer on her desk. It's Emily's Facebook page (or something similar); there's a picture of Emily holding a bong and a bottle of vodka and she appears to be standing in front of her school. As posed as a lot of those pictures look, none will ever look as posed as Emily here. On her profile, for orientation, she wrote, "I'll try anything once." Sounds like an open-minded girl. I don't see what the problem is. Davis is totally freaked out. He says that he misses the ponytails and braces. Oh, she'll try anything once. The school is suspending her for a week. Emily is on a trip to Washington right now,and will be back the next day. Davis suggests selling the apartment and moving to Westchester. Juliet says that moving to the suburbs won't save their marriage.

Zoë calls and Davis leaves. She says that Davis has "a lot" of their "accounts" holding private capital at Zoë's company. I know-- it's like there's one bank or something. Zoë asks Juliet if she wants her to investigate. Juliet says she's not sure she wants to know about them, but Zoë tells her that she has to. Then, she says she has to go because she's meeting with the Zurich office online. "The work husband?" asks Juliet. Zoë confirms that she does a work husband. Zoë says she'll see Juliet that night, and then she hangs up and primps in reverie to the work husband. Zoë pushes a button and it's Max Medina on the videoconference screen! Zoë and Max use some opaque corporate talk that doesn't really mean anything, and then Zoë asks Max how his family is. He's just like Zoë and never sees them -- he missed his son's first soccer goal. Didn't Bettina get a picture? (Apparently, he's married over there. This Max -- he's a mysterious one.) He asks Zoë how her "home life" is, and she says that she thinks she forgot to tell Eric about a dinner party they are having. He asks her if she "fessed up," and she says she "pulled a Nicholas" and dodged it. Ew, this is so forced. Zoë says that she couldn't expect Eric to understand that she's thinking about stuff and has jet lag. Yeah, it's fucking bewildering how insane your life is, Zoë. It's a miracle your whole body doesn't just explode. Zoë tells Max that her girlfriends call Max her work husband. He says that the guys in Zurich have a variation that roughly translates to "desk mistress." What he doesn't tell her is that is the title of Zurich's most popular game show. Zoë says that's not them; they've never met. But they will: Max is flying to New York tomorrow. Zoë looks all nervous, but this is so totally devoid of tension. You know nothing's going to happen.

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Cashmere Mafia

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