Cashmere Mafia

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Jeff Long: C- | Grade It Now!
The Deciders

Outside, while Davis and Juliet are jaywalking, he tells her that he's taking her to a romantic dinner at Blue Hill at Stone Barns. That's a freaking fantastic restaurant and a great reference. Seriously, it's a place about a half-hour from the city that's an organic farm; they grow the food they prepare. So, not only is it a world-class meal, it's sustainable; which would seem to be totally irrelevant to Cashmere Mafia until you consider how unsustainable this show is with the current quality of writing. If only these scripts were written on an organic farm. Juliet tells Davis that's sweet, but that she's meeting the girls for drinks that evening and the restaurant's so far out of town. (See the girls later; it's only thirty-five minutes by train). Davis suggests that she drive, and then points at a freaking hot blue Aston Martin. He bought it for Juliet this morning. He'd heard her say at Palm Beach that she liked the Bartells' similar car. She says that she was just making conversation because the Bartells are tedious. Davis says that they never get away together, and that this super-expensive car is the perfect way to do that! Juliet relents and says he'd better not get any funny ideas about the back seat. Ha! Scintillating. Then, Davis says it would be fun to do the annual "power couple" photo shoot in Portmanteau, which is one of the Barnstead magazines. Juliet says she would feel like an exhibitionist showing all of her things, but Davis tells her to think about it. Then, in the sun visor, Juliet finds a speeding ticket. She's shocked that Davis could have gotten one already, when he just said he bought the car that morning, but the ticket was written in Southampton. Uh-oh. Davis says that he had to go see an investor there who wouldn't agree to drive into the city. But, Juliet reminds him that he'd said he bought the car that morning. Oh wait, he had the car detailed that morning. It got dirty coming from the factory? No, it got dirty on the way back from the Hamptons! What's your problem, Juliet? It's like you don't trust Davis. He tells her to calm down, and says that he doesn't need an alibi. She gives him a kiss and says that she loves the car almost as much as he does.

Later, at a coffee shop, Mia looks around for an Asian guy and finds Jason. He's a total fox, but looks like he's twenty-five, tops. His haircut was like $150. And, he's a model, not a doctor. Not that doctors can't be hot (my friend Jodi's husband, I'm looking at you), but there's still a "model vs. hot doctor" gap. When Mia greets him, Jason says that he took the liberty of ordering a choice of items for her -- double cappuccino, espresso, or green iced tea. Wow, he's trying hard. She compliments his efficiency. Her first question for him is how often his mother sets him up like this. Once a day, he says, and they giggle. Mia informs Jason that she kept this date as a way to make her mother agree not to set her up with anyone for a year. Dude, your multiple coffee purchases now seem to have been made in vain. Mia makes conversation by asking Jason about being a doctor, and he tells her that he is the Chief of Neurosurgery and Professor of New Neurotherapies at NYU. That's just totally not true. Even if he were this unbelievably good-looking and model-groomed doctor, there's just no way. But, carry on. Mia is impressed and amused. She says that you don't really meet brain surgeons unless there is something going wrong inside of your head, other than hearing the voices of your boss and mother. Blah. Jason asks Mia if he should crack open her head and take a look. Maybe you do an x-ray or something less invasive first? These doctors are just butchers these days. Mia says that's more of a second-date thing for her. Jason asks Mia about her job. While she's telling him, his cell phone rings. He has to take it. Hers rings too, and they have dueling conversations. Hers is apparently from Wendy, asking about money for Katie's apology gift. Mia won't authorize $25,000, and says that they should send a "nice note." Jason's conversation is about somebody's cancer treatment. Finally, she exclaims, "They're just nipples!" That apparently signals the end of both calls, because both of them hang up without saying goodbye. Mia says, "Well, I put that fire out." Goo-goo eyes.

Zoë and Katherine are walking Shane from the boardroom to Zoë's office. Zoë tells Shane which investor will be right for his company, while Katherine interjects some overly complicated information about one of the investors looking for a "beachhead to cross-platform their brand." He doesn't know what that means, so Zoë translates -- it means "butt loads of cash." She also gives him a box with a pair of shoes and socks in it, explaining that the casual Silicon Valley look may be okay for their office, but that the "money guys" don't like looking at toes, even their own. Katherine laughs along.

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Cashmere Mafia




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