Century City
Love & Games

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Six Billion Dollar Eye

The suit that will decide whether or not Darwin is an ass. Actually, it's already accepted that he is, so I guess this is the case to decide how much his assiness is worth. Hannah offers each ex-assistant six weeks severance pay in full settlement. The assistants' attorney tells her they would prefer six months, not weeks. Hannah pleads for reasonableness. The assistants' attorney wrinkles her nose at Hannah: "This is six months of their salary, not yours, you'll hardly notice it." "Okay, okay, okay!" D the D claps his hands like Jack on Will and Grace when he's about to ask Karen to take him shopping. "This has been fun, yeah? Okay. Darlene, you feel abused, right? You wanna spit in my coffee, fine. You win," he tells an Asian woman. "Miles, you scream and you rant about everything but then you always turn around and decide it's all your fault, don't you? Okay, why don't you just take the money now before you change your mind?" D the D tells the rest of the assistants that they're going to pull the offer off the table and walk out, "and if you don't make smelly pants right now, you're going to wake up tonight, like, eight times screaming in cold sweats, terrified that you're gonna lose everything. So why don't we just sort of circumvent aaaaallll that pain. Take the six weeks." D the D leans back. An African-American woman tells the room that D the D made her put in six hours of overtime the night before her wedding. "You got paid for it -- time and a half," D the D reminds her. "Do you know what I was doing? Tracking down some girl who wouldn't return his calls," the Bride adds. This is the type of person Hannah saw fit to hire for her firm? "He called me fat," some skinny white chick adds. D the D defends himself by saying that he didn't call her fat, but rather that a client called her fat and that he felt it important to relay that information back to her. Hannah says they get the idea as D the D goes on in his explanation of why he passed the fat comment on. He's making hand gestures that imply largeness of person. I guess that's also supposed to be comedic. Making fun of someone's weight, who doesn't even look the least tiniest bit overweight, and making pornos of a colleague -- this show's got a singular sense of humor, particularly where women are concerned. "Okay, we get the idea!" Hannah repeats herself and finally stills D the D's mouth and hands. She offers eight weeks and says they need a non-disclosure from all of them. No dice. The assistants' attorney hands over a subpoena for all relevant records and internal firm recordings. "Which we know will include a bunch of times that you all called him an ass," Miles says, and smiles slightly. Hannah looks at D the D.

Khanita watches a surveillance tape of Husband Client's grandma making dinner, and tells Horatio that she's trying to prove that parents aren't as much as a burden as children are.

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Century City

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