Century City
Sweet Child Of Mine

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In Defense Of Clones

Okay, so Ira and Axel went to Singapore, where they took cells from Axel's arm and made the clone cell mass. The cell mass is supposed to be implanted into a surrogate mother, and after the clone is born, half of its liver will be used as the donor organ. "Which it won't mind giving up for its brother?" Hannah asks. "Well -- its twin. Its self. Wouldn't you do the same for an identical sibling?" Horatio Hornblawyer asks. I'd do it for you, Ioan. Battorney Montero makes some comment about biting his brother when he tried to take his meatball sub. Chuckle from all except me, because all I can think of it the Mozzarella Ball that became Trip's clone. Cloning is legal in Singapore and illegal in the U.S., but there's no law about what happens to a clone once it gets into the country. Horatio Hornblawyer shows what his heart is made of when he prefers to take the case on a pro bono basis. Darwin the Dick puts up an argument citing the fact that they have "new furniture" to pay for and can't afford to float freebies. Hannah asks Lee May (Miss Practically Perfect in Every Blonde Way) if she has an opinion. She doesn't. That's going to make being a lawyer very hard for her. Hannah says she need a reason to take this on. "Because we can help this child!" Horatio Hornblawyer insists. "Better reason," states Darwin the Dick. Horatio Hornblawyer cocks his head: "Because I can win." Sigh. "Remember when you had that kind of passion?" Hector asks no one in particular. Maybe he's talking to himself. Hannah makes a decision: "Move for summary judgment, emergency basis. In case the Customs Service forgets to keep the clone in a freezer." Ah, clone Popsicle jokes, they do get old. The meeting breaks. Hannah holds back Battorney Montero and tells him that she wants him to take on the case with Horatio Hornblawyer so that he can keep a bat eye on him. If the case goes to a place that could hurt the firm, Hannah wants the whole thing dropped. "When did you become such a hard-ass?" asks Battorney Montero. "When my name went on the door," says Hannah, flicking a bit of exposition from her suit.

The Kooky Kase is now in session. Darwin the Dick escorts a Kevyn Aucoin look-alike and two other pretty boys into his office. T.J., a former band member, is suing them because he wants to be able to join the comeback tour. Kevyn Aucoin tells Darwin and Lee May that they dropped T.J. from the band because he didn't fulfill his contractual obligations to keep himself in "good physical shape and appearance to perform in public." God, it sounds like a Wolfram and Hart clause. They did do a good job of getting really plastic-looking guys, though. Darwin will attempt a quick settlement since the band's sales are down and they're itching to tour in order to pay their M A C bills. "You don't know T.J.," says one of the Plasticmen. "He doesn't know me," Darwin dicks. Oh, the posturing of lawyers. It's about as played as these band members.

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Century City




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