They made a new Mummy? What, for those who saw and liked the first one? I guess after Monkeybone Brendan Fraser could use a hit. Or at least a film that doesn't tank so badly it causes fifty people to lose their jobs when the smoke clears.

House. Morning. My life. Terrible. The alarm goes off. Kerstin tells us that they made a connection, and they're more than friends, and that they're "real" together. Hey, can we all agree to put the term "real" to bed for good? Please? Thanks. Bathroom. They brush their teeth as Kerstin tells us that she "totally" wants to date Andy, lying that he's a "great guy."

Locksmith. He drives up. Now MM voice-overs during a montage sequence. She tells us that Andy "must decide" if he wants to pursue a relationship with Kerstin. Man, here's why this show fucking sucks. He can say whatever he wants, but how does that keep two people from doing the exact opposite once the show if over? This means nothing. It's the fucking UPN, for chrissakes! Anyway, MM whores that if he wants to pursue the relationship, he has to give Kerstin half his money (what remains of the initial ten thousand). If Kerstin then is interested, she will be waiting in the courtyard. If not, she can bail with the money and Andy will find the Locksmith instead. Which, in his case, he may prefer. Anyway. The pure half-bakedness of this show is what gets to me. It's like a third-grade class project to come up with a new TV show. So. MM stands with the "couple" and tells Andy he has to decide. First he unlocks them. "Dramatic" music and the Blair Witch noise. It's like playing "Adagio For Strings" over footage of someone walking their dog. They're free now. They hold hands. MM tells Andy to tell Kerstin the deal. He says that he's had a great time and he thinks she's wonderful, but that because of the stage he's in in his life (likes guys) he doesn't want to pursue a relationship with her. "Okay," she says. He gives her two thousand dollars and says "good luck." Then he nods his head as MM says, "Phew." Shot of the Locksmith standing on a high balcony in the house. Yes, that's the pointlessness of this show.