Short bus. The girls tell Andy about the videotape. Andy says he had no idea that his mother was involved. He starts crying. Seriously. What a douche. He says that having his mom saying "those things" makes him feel good. The girls coo. I hurl. It's raining again, which is funny. I like that the weather is fucking everything up for the show. I like things being fucked up for the show. The group goes to eat at "the pier." I don't know where "the pier" is, even though I live in town. It doesn't look like Santa Monica. Okay. I'm babbling now. They eat at a fish joint on a rainy day. That's all you need to know. Andy tries to convince the girls to all eat raw oysters and let them "slide down [their] throat." Vanessa doesn't want to, though I'm pretty sure she's let a lot of things slide down her throat before. They sit down and finally do the oyster thing. What. Ever. There are shots of passersby looking strangely at the chained-up people. I can't even laugh. A dull whimper escapes my lips. My cat opens one eye. I forge ahead. The kids all walk up some stairs. They run into the Locksmith. Man, he cracks me up. They all tilt the camera and make the Blair Witch noise, and he stands in front of them all unsmiling. So the girls all hug, knowing one of them is about to get the boot. Dramatic music plays as the girls hug. Someone whines, "This is so much fun, you guys." Locksmith. Heart-beating noise. Gay. Everything's so gay. Commercial. Thank you, capitalism.
Commercials. So much more interesting than the show. Not a good sign. I rewind and watch them again.
MM voice-overs the rules again, saying that how much Andy decides to give each girl as he lets her go reflects what he thinks of her. We get a montage of the show so far, because it's been just that fucking meaningful. Andy talks to the women, saying that he didn't think this would be that hard, but that the person he's letting go, he doesn't feel is willing to express herself and he needs someone who will "go there," whatever that means. (I know what he means, but that's not for public consumption. Well, neither is this show.) He lets Vanessa go. She looks "shocked." The Locksmith waddles up with the key. Andy unchains her. Dramatic Music. He says that he's giving her "five hundred dollars," because he really likes her. She smiles and nods. He goes on that he's also giving her one hundred dollars so she can go to a bookstore and buy a book on "how to release some control." What? Oh, shut the fuck up, stunt-bitch. "I'm sorry that offended you," he says. The Locksmith leads her off. He tells us that he feels bad because he "went somewhere that she wasn't ready for." Short bus. Vanessa being driven away. Ha. They make the Locksmith drive her. Cheap-ass production company. Vanessa says that it was the "shittiest thing anyone has ever said to [her] in [her] life." She goes on that she was trying hard not to cry and that there was no chemistry between them (I wonder why) and she doesn't know why anyone would be so mean. Whatever. Goodbye. Be happy you're done with this show. Lick your wounds. They're going to heal a lot quicker than mine, I'm sure.