Chains of Love

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
This Show Is The Weakest Link. Goodbye!

House. Tot tub. Andy asks Kerstin what she's thinking, and she says that she thinks she pissed him off. Andy tells her that with her "selfish" remark about them making out, she made it both "ten times" harder than it was and then made him feel "thirty times" worse. Andy says that her selfish comment made him feel like maybe he made the wrong choice. Funny: she gets up and makes to leave, but then realizes she's chained to the guy, so she just sits on the edge of the tub. Andy is so fucking passive-aggressive that he immediately flip-flops and just explains that that is the tension she might be feeling. The thing with him is that if suddenly she got angry or defensive, he'd be shrill and yelling again; the moment she feels bad he backs off, victorious. I hate this guy. I would take a million Kayas over one Andy. So Andy quickly tells her that she needs to get over it, and she does, and they start playing. While we see them jump in the pool and start kissing (he sort of just drags her in, which looks painful), Andy tells us that eventually Kerstin realized that he needed to "go there" with Amy to make his decision. Whatever. Likes men. I would bet you this laptop that if the entire camera and sound crew left and they were alone in the house, they'd be in separate rooms watching TV within five minutes. So now they jump in bed, and Kerstin says she feels tense. Andy says it's been "weird," but he thinks they're going to have a great time.

Infrared cam. Night. They snuggle. We get subtitles. Andy: "Are you trying to touch me?" Kerstin: "No." Andy: "We need to have fun in this house. We may never see each other again." Kerstin: "I'm getting tired." Andy: "Hey, be nice to me." Kerstin: "I'm nice to you. You're still in control here." Andy: "Not really." Kerstin: "After the conversation we just had you're afraid of me rejecting you?" Ooh, if I didn't know what I've heard about the guy, I'd think that this was some of the most sleazy shit I've ever heard. Andy's all, "Give me a hand job or you get no money." At least Kerstin isn't going for it. Wait, when did I start caring? Shit. I need to go take my temperature. Luckily we get commercials.

They made a new Mummy? What, for those who saw and liked the first one? I guess after Monkeybone Brendan Fraser could use a hit. Or at least a film that doesn't tank so badly it causes fifty people to lose their jobs when the smoke clears.

House. Morning. My life. Terrible. The alarm goes off. Kerstin tells us that they made a connection, and they're more than friends, and that they're "real" together. Hey, can we all agree to put the term "real" to bed for good? Please? Thanks. Bathroom. They brush their teeth as Kerstin tells us that she "totally" wants to date Andy, lying that he's a "great guy."

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Chains of Love




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