Coast. Short bus. David tells us that he thinks Jennifer is confused. In the bus, Chris sleeps and acts the fool. David's date will be "Romantic Dinner" and "Caviar Tasting." Chris is tangled in the chains. He sits in the corner as Jennifer and David taste caviar to try to figure out which one she likes the best. They eat off the same plate, and we see Chris with his eyes closed. Jennifer looks like, "What the fuck is this? Is this a fun date?" David is trying very hard, even though I don't think this is anyone's fault but the producers, and I'll just add it to my long list of things for which I need reparations for having to sit through. Jennifer's favorite caviar turns out to be the cheapest one, at sixty-six cents an ounce. They get a great laugh out of that. Yeah, Jennifer is trash. David says that Chris is like The Blair Witch in the corner, and I think he's trying to cap on Chris, but it's not working. He babbles about wanting to be active, and then when they discover they both like rock climbing, he tools that he thinks they now have a pretty good list of things they can do together. Jennifer, buying it, voice-overs that she rarely finds someone that she connects with on so many different levels. David lies to her face, saying that he's grown so much because of her; then he tells us that she's really seen stuff inside him now, especially without Chris butting in and telling funny stories. We see Chris putting a napkin on his head. David won't shut up, saying that whatever happens he'll be happy and that then we get a shot close-up of Chris sipping a beer they just gave him, and the door opening, and the Locksmith entering, and Chris tries to act surprised. This is the worst so far. And yes, though the people who make this show are I'm sure nice and have families to feed and mean well, it is exactly faked moments like these that make me feel justified in saying, "You are all hacks. This is the worst show ever in the history of television. And you should all be at least a little bit ashamed of yourselves, especially if at some point you thought you were doing quality work. Especially then."
Chains of Love
Episode Report CardStee: B+ | 484 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Chains of Love