Chains of Love

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | 527 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Free from the Chains

We’re back. John says there was more “connecting” going on with Kim. Shut up. We’re at the house, and John and Natalie sit down for “Intimate Dinner” and “Sensual Desserts.” Natalie now slut-overs that her strategy will just be good conversation (touch him under the table) and to flirt a little (blowjob) and see how he takes it (let him come in her hair). Natalie says she felt lonely during the other date. Then John is saying he wants kids someday, and Natalie says, “Exactly.” Wow, they’re so on the same page! Kim again tells us she’s just playing John. Natalie’s eyes are vacant and scary as she says she left room for dessert. She then tells us that if John wants to get more physical, she’s fine with it. Yeah, no fucking kidding.

In a candlelit room, John and Natalie suck stuff off each other’s fingers and there is a blindfold and they dip fruit in stuff and kiss a lot and it’s all sorta gross. John hurts Natalie by tying the blindfold too tight. Man, it’s funny. Then John tells us that if Natalie gets too aggressive, it might be a turn-off. Yeah. Try selling that bridge to someone else, pal. Kim sulks in a corner during all this. They head off to do body shots and Kim puts her head in her hands and as John and Natalie kiss, here comes the massive Locksmith. John mouths, “Shit,” as he buttons his pants. Ew. I don’t know what that was about, but we didn’t get to see it. John does some acting but again doesn’t try too hard. Thank you, John.

Final judgment. John gives them each ten seconds. Natalie drones in a dead voice that she should stay because they can take a hot tub under the full moon. Kim then says, “The reason why I should be the one to stay is plain and simple: I’m the one.” She smiles, as if she has a chance. John then says that he likes the booted person, but never really connected romantically. John tries to all fake them out but picks Kim. Natalie smiles impishly. Kim is unchained. John gives Kim one thousand dollars for acting lessons, because she never had John convinced that she had a real interest in him. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Even Kim kinda laughs. Meanwhile, however, Natalie gives a “Huh?” look. Don’t worry, honey. Everything will be explained someday. Kim leaves with the big guy. Natalie and John hug and kiss and talk and laugh.

Chains of Love

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