Sweet commercials. Come to me…oh, over already. You were wonderful. I’ll miss you. Return soon.

Bar. John babbles to us and says that the three other girls lost points in dissing Jeannie. What? They were just asked to give their honest…oh shut up, John. I know it works for you acting like the above-it-all camp counselor, but taking away girls’ right to be catty is like taking away an L.A. model-slash-whatever’s right to get her boobs done. So now Jeannie talks, slutting that she’s all choked up and always gets shit from other girls. Now the ever-so Courteney-Cox-looking Danielle says, “I said in the interview when I watched the tape that Jeannie wasn’t competition because…she’s Oriental, for one!” Goddamn! This show keeps getting…okay, well, it always sucks, but they occasionally bust out with a keeper line like that one. What a dumb shit, that Danielle. Anyway, John says that he senses cattiness, which makes it fun for him. Good man.

Kitchen. Now the kids make pizza; Natalie, half of her face looking paralyzed when she talks, says that John has a “scruffy cuteness.” Danielle then says she’d date John in real life. The kids drink wine as Kim tells us that she likes John. Now the talking continues, as the kids all say that good dancers and good kissers make good lovers. Danielle starts to steal focus, the other girls say, as she tells John what a bad kiss is. Jeannie says something, and Danielle says something back. John laughs. Danielle says her friend is a good kisser, and then says something about the brother rubbing her leg, and then she grabs her hair and says, “My only threesome.” That was a good story; tell that one again. Ha, John says, “That’s a good story.” Funny. Danielle doesn’t get it and goes on about good kissers being good in bed and vice versa. Danielle is on massive amounts of coke, people. Kim then says something, but I don’t care. Same with Natalie. They’re dissing Danielle, that’s all. The kids all toast and lie, “Friends.” Yes, fast friends.