Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 381 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Call To Many Crappy Arm-Like Digital Inserts Of Discontent

Oh, I suppose I should include a word or two about the boyband fucktard's Slampiece nickname. Why not? This recap's already longer than the goddamned Bhagavad Gita, so what's another little paragraph here or there? The forum board recently featured a poll entitled "Name That Slampiece!" Slampiece Of The Sea actually won a plurality of the votes, but after seeing this original cartoon by board contributor payndz, I decided to pull a Katherine Harris and toss out the real vote. The typing style should be familiar to those of you who frequent various fan sites created and patronized by members of this show's apparent target demographic. And by the way, because it cannot be said often enough: Seriously, Kern. Fuck you.

Now where were we? Oh, yes. Back in the Manor, where Piper and her many crappy arm-like digital inserts are putting Tiny Gay Chris down for a nap up in the Bridal Boudoir. Seconds after she does so, a squad of Barbas's minions squiggle into the room to make with the Flaming Balls Of Death and such, but Shakti Piper, crappily armed as she is, makes quick work of the various dark demonic forces with her three pairs of Hands. Meanwhile, Barbas himself has flamed rather inobtrusively onto the second floor corridor and stalks over to Tiny Chris's bassinet to terrify the wee one with those hideous teeth of his. Shakti Piper fortuitously spins just in time to unleash a single pair of her Hands of Discontent which -- with a little of the same electrical mojo the Dolt exhibited earlier -- spork Barbas backwards through the air and into the opposite wall. Barbas pauses briefly to examine the brand-new gaping wound in his stomach before flaming the fuck out of there. "It's okay, peanut," Shakti Piper and her many crappy arm-like digital inserts croon as they gently lift Tiny Gay Chris from his bassinet. "You're okay." Tiny Gay Chris works that pacifier of his to death until he's mauled by the next commercial break.

Charmed

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