Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 338 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Knight To Remember

Not!tingham. Phoebe and Piper are chained to a wall adjacent to Lady High and The Improbable Portcullis. They bicker. Lady High interrupts to ask who they are and from whence they came. "We're from Disneyland," Phoebe product-places. "Futureworld." Piper grunts at her. "We're witches," Piper more helpfully exposits for Lady High's edification, "and we have the potion that will stop the Enchantress." "Yeah, let's go get her," Phoebe snorts. "Oh! We can't! Because we're chained to a wall!" Piper smacks at her as Lady High gazes Heavenward as if to plead, "Lord, save me from future roles as pointless tertiary characters on smug Spelling-produced WB serials." Word, Lady High. Word.

Boudoir of Eeevil. The Road Kill lies mangled and shirtless on the bed. Pre-Raige enters in that forties chemise and crosses to his side. Behind her, Raige and the Dolt peer around a corner. She tells him to gather up Piper and Phoebe while she staves off Pre-Raige's libido. The Dolt asks how she proposes to do this, as the Ps are always powerless in the past. As Raige and Pre-Raige share a soul, Raige believes she can "tap into" Pre-Raige's powers. It does sort of make sense, but the problematic issue of two copies of the same soul occupying the same point in time is never addressed. The Dolt bolts as Pre-Raige leans in to smooch with her mangled and enchanted beloved.

Hall of The Improbable Portcullis. The Dolt enters and moves to unshackle the Manor Ps. A knight in black armor attacks him from behind. He tosses the Dolt across the flagstones, then unsheathes his sword. The Dolt knocks another sword off the wall and pulls a forward somersault out of his ass to challenge the dark knight. Swords clatter. Piper shrieks. Phoebe yodels. Lady High looks lost. The Dolt is brought to the floor by a sly kick to the backs of his knees. Meanwhile, over in the Boudoir of Eeevil, Raige interrupts the impregnation in progress. Pre-Raige rises from the bed to scorch Present Raige. I suppose that, strictly speaking, it should read, "Present Raige rises from the bed to scorch Future Raige," but I think you know what I mean. Present Raige counters with a scorch of her own, and the two scorches clash in mid-air as the Road Kill does his best impersonation of the Dolt. Speaking of the Dolt, he and the dark knight continue to hack away at each other. I suppose he lacks powers as well, though that also is never made clear. The Dolt finally head-butts the dark knight, which is enough to send the dark knight spinning across the room into unconsciousness. It should be, considering that the Dolt's head is a solid block of wood. He frees the Manor Ps as Piper waxes lustful over this heretofore-hidden manly side of her husband. The three hear the ongoing struggle over in the Boudoir and rush to investigate.

Charmed

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