Moving along, then -- the entry itself focuses on Pre-Raige, defining her as "a witch who came to the craft late and learned to use it quickly." "She was gifted," the Book notes further, "with the power to conjure the elements and was also skilled at creating potent potions to achieve her goals. Defiant, clever, and independent, she was by far the most powerful witch of the 12th Century." Of course, Raige doesn't bother reading all of this. If she had, she might have thought twice about reciting the full spell from her childhood memory, which appears on the facing page. Recite she does, though, and over in Not!tingham, a whirlwind forms around King Road Kill to drag him into the attic. He's brought The Flute Of Titanic Annoyance with him. He kneels, gazes adoringly at Raige, and bows his head with, "My love!" The camera quickly pulls tight onto Raige's face as her eyeballs pop out into the commercial break.
Raige totters through the dining room into the kitchen, fleeing King Road Kill's affections. She's tottering because in addition to The Horror, the napkin, the tights, and the braids, she's wearing metallic red knee-high high-heeled go-go boots. Phoebe and Piper trail behind, mightily amused by Raige's predicament. When King Road Kill announces his intention to impregnate Raige, she summons a plate from a nearby cabinet and proceeds to brain him with it. Undeterred, King Road Kill drops to one knee and starts sucking on Raige's hand. She begs Piper to freeze him. Piper makes funny with the "but I might blow him up" noises before complying. Phoebe guesses that King Road Kill must be operating under some sort of "love spell." Raige confirms this. Piper asks Raige why "Sir Lust-a-Lot" has been hounding her rather than the Eeevil Enchantress. Raige hasn't a clue, and moreover is offended by the question. "Why should I know?" "Because it's your damn fairy tale, and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen," is Piper's pert reply. Raige tosses her hands in the air and storms out into the hall, past Piper and Phoebe. They skitter after her, telling her she can't leave in the middle of a crisis. Yes, Raige can. "I don't live here." She scoops up her purse and flounces out. Oh, damn. I just used the word "flounce," didn't I? The Horror is affecting my thought patterns. In a decidedly negative way. "[Raige]!" Piper screams at her back. "The Charmed Ones come first!" Phoebe mocks that expression. "It always worked when Prue said it," Piper lames. Perhaps, Piper. But Prue was a scary bitch. You're just a whiny one.