A Knight To Remember

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C
A Knight To Remember

Boudoir of Eeevil. The Road Kill lies mangled and shirtless on the bed. Pre-Raige enters in that forties chemise and crosses to his side. Behind her, Raige and the Dolt peer around a corner. She tells him to gather up Piper and Phoebe while she staves off Pre-Raige's libido. The Dolt asks how she proposes to do this, as the Ps are always powerless in the past. As Raige and Pre-Raige share a soul, Raige believes she can "tap into" Pre-Raige's powers. It does sort of make sense, but the problematic issue of two copies of the same soul occupying the same point in time is never addressed. The Dolt bolts as Pre-Raige leans in to smooch with her mangled and enchanted beloved.

Hall of The Improbable Portcullis. The Dolt enters and moves to unshackle the Manor Ps. A knight in black armor attacks him from behind. He tosses the Dolt across the flagstones, then unsheathes his sword. The Dolt knocks another sword off the wall and pulls a forward somersault out of his ass to challenge the dark knight. Swords clatter. Piper shrieks. Phoebe yodels. Lady High looks lost. The Dolt is brought to the floor by a sly kick to the backs of his knees. Meanwhile, over in the Boudoir of Eeevil, Raige interrupts the impregnation in progress. Pre-Raige rises from the bed to scorch Present Raige. I suppose that, strictly speaking, it should read, "Present Raige rises from the bed to scorch Future Raige," but I think you know what I mean. Present Raige counters with a scorch of her own, and the two scorches clash in mid-air as the Road Kill does his best impersonation of the Dolt. Speaking of the Dolt, he and the dark knight continue to hack away at each other. I suppose he lacks powers as well, though that also is never made clear. The Dolt finally head-butts the dark knight, which is enough to send the dark knight spinning across the room into unconsciousness. It should be, considering that the Dolt's head is a solid block of wood. He frees the Manor Ps as Piper waxes lustful over this heretofore-hidden manly side of her husband. The three hear the ongoing struggle over in the Boudoir and rush to investigate.

Raige scampers behind a piece of furniture as Pre-Raige scorches a stone above Raige's head. The others arrive just as Pre-Raige slams Road Kill into a wall for intervening on Raige's behalf. Raige in turn whips Pre-Raige across the room with that wind thing. Pre-Raige drops to the stone floor, panting. Piper and Phoebe toss the remaining vials at her. They shatter, and a twist of smoke wreathes Pre-Raige's gasping form. She rises into a crouch and flicks her wrist at the four. Nothing happens. Piper explains the whole binding thing, leading Pre-Raige to exclaim, "How could you do this to me? To us?" "I didn't do it," Raige answers calmly, then indicates the Manor Ps. "We did it." You know, The Power Of Three Restored and everything? Just wanted to make certain you all were aware of that. Rrrgh. I'll shut up. Lady High, freed somehow from The Improbable Portcullis, dashes in to embrace the Road Kill. Pre-Raige glowers. Lady High and the Road Kill mack. Pre-Raige seethes. Road Kill calls Lady High "my love." Phoebe and Raige note that "the kiss of true love [breaks] the spell" "in every fairy tale." Pre-Raige pouts, at last defeated. Don't worry, Pre-Raige. I'm sure you can embark on a new career peddling that Jungle Red lipstick you've been abusing this evening to the local gentry.

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