A Knight To Remember

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C
A Knight To Remember

Over at Not!tingham Castle, Ben from Buffy the Vampire Slayer demands that Pre-Raige hand over his "beloved." Dude. He's uglier than I remembered him being. It looks like someone stuck his head in a vise and squeezed, then ran the result at high speed into a wall. The Farrah hair isn't helping matters, either. Pre-Raige wears a distinctly un-medieval satin-and-chiffon chemise. It in fact looks like something out of a 1940s black-and-white thriller, like Rebecca. Must be the shoulder pads. And the fact that Rose McGowan is vamping and camping her way through the material like she's the product of the unholy union of Joan Crawford, Eve Arden, Veronica Lake, and Elvira. Long story short, Pre-Raige tosses a flaming bag of magical powder at Road Kill's feet, then recites the spell Raige couldn't quite remember…

Bring together my prince and me,
Let him fall on bended knee.
I summon him to my side
That he may take me to be
His destined bride.

No wonder Raige forgot it. Road Kill immediately resheathes the broadsword with which he'd been threatening Pre-Raige and drops to one knee. "My love," he intones, and starts sucking on her hand. "I am forever yours." He rises to his feet and moves behind Raige to frame her artfully for her next line. As he sucks on the nape of her neck, she says, "As will be your kingdom once I have conceived an heir." Pre-Raige leads King Road Kill to a curtained four-poster as insistent rapping noises hit the soundtrack.

Manor. The shadow of a be-Horrored Raige appears on the opaque glass of the front door as she raps her knuckles against the pane. Piper lets her in, even though we all know the door is unlocked. This was Raige's point. "At least I knocked," she snits as she strides into the front hall. Dear God, why me? In addition to The Horror and the napkin, Raige wears black tights, and has braided her hair Pippi-style. Jesus. She ignores Phoebe's hello, insisting that she's only there to consult the Book of Shadows. Piper chooses this moment to ask Raige if she'd like to move in. Raige stops on the landing of the staircase, shocked. Piper and Phoebe explain the whole Power of Three being stronger under the Manor's roof thing, and they come across as more than a little callous, wanting Raige to move in more for her powers than for her shared bloodline. Raige greets the invitation and the explanation with, "Are you two out. Of your freaking. MINDS?" She clomps upstairs, Phoebe and Piper hard on her heels.

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