A Witch In Time

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
A witch in time...

Subplot To Nowhere. Back at the Manor, Future B instructs Present B to call a meeting of the demonic higher-ups to consolidate his power in the Underworld. Not gonna happen. No! Don't tell me that demonic entities ensconced in the Underworld are unaffected by alterations to the timeline on earth, because I'll simply remind you that the goodness cloaking spell is temporary and would therefore require a constant stream of Halliwell blood should Present B hope to maintain his hold on some sort of duplicate Book of Shadows down in Hell. Do I make myself clear?

Meanwhile, back in the alleyway, Piper frets that she'll travel too far into the past. The Dolt suggests she keep track of time using her watch. Which for some reason will be affected by passage through the ripple, even though Piper herself won't regress in age. Don't ask. We're almost done with this damn episode, okay? Piper stumbles upon the squiggly portal just as Future Bacarra blinks into the alleyway. The Dolt tackles him to the ground, shouting all the while for Piper to step through the supernatural doorway. She does so, and turns around to witness the events we've just seen reverse themselves. Piper checks her watch. As the hands spin backwards to one o'clock the previous afternoon, Phoebe's deadly interference with fate plays itself out in reverse. Piper waits until all the principals have sped backwards out of the scene, then steps onto the pavement outside of the portal. None of the passing extras seems to notice the strange woman who just walked out of the wall. Piper glances around for a moment, then takes off towards Gonzo's office building.

Piper hits the walk opposite The Chinless Wonder's place of employment and watches Phoebe's afghan-clad ass skitter through the front doors. That afghan, man. Jesus. When the delivery van blocks Present Piper's Jeep, Future Piper charges across the street and slides into the passenger seat to speed-talk her way through the relevant facts, which basically boil down to, "If Gonzo doesn't bite it, Phoebe and Raige will." Present Piper is duly outraged. Future Piper tells herself to cram it, and snits, "Look, don't argue with me, okay? Just let [Gonzo] die!" She furiously pinches Present Piper's arm, then drops the shoulder of her jacket to display the resulting bruise. But how would the bruise appear on Future Piper's arm if she...oh, fuck it. Future Piper's final instruction is, "When Phoebe asks, 'Left or right?' go to the right, and when this is all over, just let Phoebe know it was meant to be, okay?" Present Piper gapes. Future Piper pauses to add, "The next time she falls for a guy, do not stand in her way," then disappears from the Jeep. Present Piper pouts, "Hey! I'm not standing in her way!" Snerk.

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