Charmed
A Witch In Time

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A witch in time...

After the break, Raige fruitlessly flips through the Book of Shadows for an entry on Bacarra as Piper reluctantly admits that Cole appeared right before the attack to warn them. The Dolt orbs up to consult the ever-useless Elders. Raige wonders if they should tell Phoebe about Cole. Knowing that her younger sister instantly morphs into an unreasonable bitch at the mere mention of Cole's name, Piper nixes this idea and stares glumly at the Feebs stroking the unconscious Gonzo's head over on the sun porch.

Speaking of Gonzo, he presently awakens on the wicker loveseat to ask what happened. Phoebe lies that "moldy plaster" and a heavy chandelier made for another near-death experience for The Chinless Wonder. Gonzo playfully suggests Feebs remain by his side until his apparently rotten luck changes. Phoebe mulls this over for a bit and agrees, leaning in to peck him on the lips. Oh, and look at that! Another delightfully deadly premonition! Gonzo emerges onto a small concrete balcony and leans heavily on a rickety, rusted railing. My new favorite inanimate object agreeably throws a couple of bolts and drops towards the ground, taking The Chinless Wonder along for the ride. He latches onto a wobbly support for a brief moment before that, too, breaks away. Gonzo drops four stories to the parking lot below. The final shot is of Gonzo's lifeless head smacking against the asphalt as his surprised googly eyes glaze over. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Slow-forward. This is the best episode ever! Back on the sun porch, Phoebe snaps out of it as Gonzo murmurs, "Your kisses kill me." If only, you bastard. Phoebe glances over uneasily at Piper, who returns her sister's gaze with a poker face.

The jumpy DemonCam on crack hurtles through the streets before dumping us in a shabbily genteel apartment elsewhere in the city. Bacarra's scruffy present incarnation slams through the open door with a dagger in his hand, screaming, "Come on, witch! I know you're here!" As opposed to Future Bacarra, Present Bacarra has yet to appreciate the benefits of an all-black wardrobe and applies far too much styling gel to his hair. Now he looks like an ungodly cross between Jamie Kennedy and Seth Green. Future B blinks in and greets Present B. Present B, naturally, is wary of his better-groomed doppelganger. Future B grins that he remembers this particular shabby-genteel one-bedroom, and notes that the witch Present B seeks has "the power of invisibility." Future B mutters some Craptin while twisting his hand around as if screwing in a light bulb. The witch in question materializes behind an armchair and promptly freaks. She breaks for the door, but Future B snatches her up in his arms. He mutters some more Craptin, and the witch lapses into a coma. I feel you, my sister. Future B gently deposits the woman on the floor, then rises to inform Present B of his cunning plan. Future B intends to capitalize on the present unrest over in Halliwell Manor and the Casa Del Cole to abscond with the Book of Shadows, off the Charmed Ones, and assume the throne of Hell. He sidles over to the unfortunate witch's cabinet of potion ingredients and selects a few items from the shelves. Present B snits that they can't steal the Book, because the thing shields itself from evil. Future B has that one covered. "With a little blood from [the Glamorous Ladies'] line and a spell from the future," the two Bs can temporarily "cloak [themselves] in goodness," thereby granting them access to the Book. Gradual understanding breaks across Present B's face, and he smiles slyly.

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Charmed

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