Fade up on Coven Cavern. Ava Exposition applies a cloth to her bullet wound as she sulks and snits that the power-free sisters might as well return to their own time. The coven asked for powerful witches and ended up with frauds, she pouts, and I wonder if her Alice-In-Wonderland bangs and headband really were that much of a fashion craze in seventeenth-century Virginia. The sisters attempt to placate her, with Prue noting that, since the three Ps technically don't exist yet, their powers don't exist either. Alice Exposition gripes that saving the infant is her "destiny," and an extra with a pink ruffled doily on her head appears with a strip of cloth. Extra Witch hands the strip of fabric to Alice in Covenland, telling her to bite down on it, and nods to another doily-headed maiden, who moves to the fire to retrieve a white-hot andiron from the embers. Piper steps in to ask them what the hell they think they're doing. "Cauterizing her wound," Betty Extra replies, and Piper snarks that while the three Ps may not have their powers, they still are in command of "the basics." She sends the extras off in search of hot water, soap, and clean towels. What I don't know about medicine would fill a library, but I seem to recall that hot water and soap aren't nearly enough to prevent infection and gangrene from a musket ball wound. So, um, shut up, Piper, and let the extras sear Alice in Covenland's flesh, okay? The three Ps ask Alice Exposition to teach them the basics of 1600s witchcraft, in the hopes that information will help them express their own "inherently magical" natures.
Episode Report Card533 USERS: C+
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