All Halliwells' Eve

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I Have A Feeling We're Not In Toto Anymore, Kansas

Fade up on Coven Cavern. Ava Exposition applies a cloth to her bullet wound as she sulks and snits that the power-free sisters might as well return to their own time. The coven asked for powerful witches and ended up with frauds, she pouts, and I wonder if her Alice-In-Wonderland bangs and headband really were that much of a fashion craze in seventeenth-century Virginia. The sisters attempt to placate her, with Prue noting that, since the three Ps technically don't exist yet, their powers don't exist either. Alice Exposition gripes that saving the infant is her "destiny," and an extra with a pink ruffled doily on her head appears with a strip of cloth. Extra Witch hands the strip of fabric to Alice in Covenland, telling her to bite down on it, and nods to another doily-headed maiden, who moves to the fire to retrieve a white-hot andiron from the embers. Piper steps in to ask them what the hell they think they're doing. "Cauterizing her wound," Betty Extra replies, and Piper snarks that while the three Ps may not have their powers, they still are in command of "the basics." She sends the extras off in search of hot water, soap, and clean towels. What I don't know about medicine would fill a library, but I seem to recall that hot water and soap aren't nearly enough to prevent infection and gangrene from a musket ball wound. So, um, shut up, Piper, and let the extras sear Alice in Covenland's flesh, okay? The three Ps ask Alice Exposition to teach them the basics of 1600s witchcraft, in the hopes that information will help them express their own "inherently magical" natures.

Another wacky in-and-out flip cut to the Y2K Manor. Darryl and Leo have locked themselves in the attic, where Leo peruses the Book of Shadows for a Fester solution. He's determined the GrimSomethings are actually "Grimlocks." Their entry on the "Auras" page in the BoS reveals them to be "white demons with…red eyes." The props department might have wanted to clue the make-up department in on this little detail, as Fester and Chester have thus far had black eyes. The Grimlocks travel "from city to city killing powerful forces of Good," whom they target using the purloined eyesight of innocent children. Interestingly enough, the BoS notes that the stolen eyesight lasts for only twenty-four hours, after which the Grimlocks eat the kids. Now, that's something I'd like to see on this damned show, especially if the child to be eaten is that Aryan Ninja "dude" from the pre-credits sequence. Leo moves to copy the Grimlock vanquishing potion out of the BoS, and we cut to Fester and Lester bitching at each other in the hall outside the attic. Molester peers through the keyhole at a warily-approaching Darryl and proceeds to strangle Darryl with his own aura once he's moved within range. Once Darryl drops his gun, the Grimlocks kick in the attic door. Leo orbs over to grab Darryl, then orbs the two of them down to the kitchen. For the third damn time, Dimwit asks Leo who he is. And for the third damn time, Leo ignores the question, stating that they "have a potion to cook up."

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