Dormitory Hallway. Phoebe and Piper walk in. Standards and Practices has insisted that Shannen throw on a tech vest over her thinly woven "free bird" blouse. Note to self: send them a muffin basket by way of thanks. Prue's prattling about the impossibility of "mortals" casting "spells that actually work." Phoebe knows "something's wrong." Bedhead walks up to them. Phoebe asks about the cut on his head. Bedhead blames it on "some drunk frat guy." Phoebe will see Bedhead at P3 that night. Prue asks what the whole exchange was about. Phoebe: "Love takes a backseat to duty." Prue awkwardly segues about "love" and "backseats" and Phoebe's "conception" as she telekinetically breaks into the study group's dorm room. The lazy Ps look around the place. Prue declares it "a pigsty," although, trust me, I've seen dorm rooms that were far worse. Phoebe picks up the Hallmark spell book. The Ps hear Brunette crying for help from the closet. They open the door. Brunette, gagged and bruised, is tied up in the rabbit cage.
So this Lisa Loeb-ish girl walks into a ladies room. An old man who's been lurking inside insults her breath and offers her a stick of "Big Red" gum. She thanks him. Huh?
Halliwell Manor. Night. The lazy Ps bring Brunette into the house and ask her what's the big. Brunette stammers that the Halliwells "wouldn't understand." The Ps give her patronizing "oh you silly mortal" looks. Brunette admits that the study group recited the spell that "made guys out of animals." Prue asks what the ani-males want. Brunette says that they want to remain human -- and that they're violent and crazy. She adds that "maybe its our fault, for making them what they're not." Phoebe tells Brunette not to "blame [herself] for the actions of other people." Ah, Phoebe, but that's the rub; they're NOT PEOPLE. Phoebe goes to the kitchen to get some stuff to clean Brunette's scratches. She opens the cabinet under the sink and looks for some "hydrogen peroxide" (?!?). Just then Prue spots the broken front door and begins to freak. Phoebe's peroxide search leads her to the pantry, because she's a moron. When she opens the door, Pig Boy's corpse falls on top of her. Prue and Brunette come running while Phoebe shrieks. They see Pig Boy's newly sprouted snout and reason that the "spell's wearing off." Brunette tells the lazy Ps that Snake Boy and Pig Boy are probably headed to the P3AD to try to find Phoebe.