Animal Pragmatism

Episode Report Card
Owen: D | 1 USERS: A+
Animal Pragmatism

Cut to Dan and Piper at the bar. Piper tells him she has to take time out for her job and her family. Dan will just "have to deal." In reply, Dan tells Piper, "Realize who I am. Sometimes I get jealous. That's just who I am. Work with me, yes, but change me . . ." Run, Piper, run! Piper just LotD's in reply, "Relationships are hard work." Dan segues the conversation to his "empty stomach." They decide to head to dinner. Piper tells him to go on ahead, because she forgot her purse. Piper walks over to her evening bag, which has been sitting in the VIP alcove unattended. Is that really wise? Somebody's put a Hallmark card (natch) on top of it. It's the "For You / Always" card from Leo. We see he's written something in first-grade block print, and hear his voice-over: "Blah blah when I met you I was your handyman yadda yadda now I'm your handyman again wah wah same guy you fell in love with prattle prattle remember that I'm not giving up blather." The scene goes slo-mo as Piper stares past the crowd at Leo behind the bar. Some song about "moving heaven" that Warner Brothers Music is trying to foist on us starts blaring, and the two of them move toward each other and kiss from forty-three different camera angles. Then we cut back to Piper looking at Leo behind the bar. Oh burn. It was just a sweeps month tease fantasy. Piper goes off to meet Dan. I hope Piper didn't forget her sunglasses; Dan's behavior is starting to make me envision a Ron-Nicole-OJ scenario.

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