Charmed
Animal Pragmatism

Episode Report Card
Owen: D | 1 USERS: A+
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Animal Pragmatism

Dormitory. Red, Blonde, and Brunette stand together in a darkened room with a pentagram drawn in front of them. The outline is circled with candles, and a pig, a snake, and a rabbit sit inside of it. The girls join hands and exposition about casting "a joke spell" to turn animals into men to be their dates. Why did Brunette choose a pig? Because it's an "intelligent species." Red brought a rabbit; the girls tease their horny friend because they "know why." Blonde warns her to "keep her fingers clear, in case he scratches" -- that's why she brought a snake. They recite the spell straight from their Hallmark book. Nothing happens. Red remembers Phoebe's corrected spell. She plays back Phoebe's voice from her tape of the professor's class lecture. With the help of flash powder and a quick edit, the animals turn into three naked men. The girls gape.

Credits. Funny how Luke Perry and Holly Marie Combs both sport facial scratch scars that bisect their right eyebrows. Funny also how they've both worked with Shannen Doherty.

Hanging Up, now in theaters. For those of y'all who don't get enough of their weekly quotient of sisterly shrieking and tittering from this program.

Caterwauling, establishing shots, and the knowledge that Christopher Wiehl -- that cute, buff WB Player who recently played Carmen's college-dropout older brother on Popular and was in a first season episode of Buffy as "Owen" -- is a guest star tonight. Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Piper "The Wind Beneath His Clipped Wings" Halliwell is (natch) cleaning up breakfast dishes when Prue "Going, Going . . . Gone!" Halliwell slinks in all sleepy-eyed in her cropped pink tank top and pj bottoms. Prue grabs a cup of coffee while Piper teases her because "What's wrong with this picture?" Phoebe's already "up and on campus" while Prue's "footloose and office-free." Prue states her plans for the day: doing "nothing." Piper is envious of this, because she's "always in the middle of something." Prue tries to comfort her. Piper whines about how difficult Valentine's Day will be for her this year. Prue "completely forgot" about the holiday. She beams, because that means she's "doing nothing already." Piper's flummoxed because Dan wants to have Valentine's Day dinner with her, and Leo is mortal now and "back in the picture." Prue tells her sister that she's "with" Piper "whatever and whoever [she] chooses." I believe the "WHATEVER" in that statement refers to Piper possibly choosing Dan.

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Charmed

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