Apocalypse Not

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Apocalypse Not

Halliwell Manor. Day. Kitchen. Piper "At Wit(ch)'s End" Halliwell enters the room, carrying shopping bags while blathering, "Any day that brings new shoes is a good day." Shouldn't you qualify your purchases as "boots," Piper? Phoebe "The Abominable Ms. Pheebs" Halliwell follows her into the room, carrying shopping parcels also, prattling, "Are you kidding? Yoga, pedicures, shopping, lunch. When has a day been more fun?" Prue "Brinda Starr" Halliwell enters the kitchen with bags too, adding that it's been "nice" to "bond" over something other than "vanquishing demons." Damn, the Halliwells finally do something fun and the cameras weren't there to capture it. Sigh. Phoebe notes that demon-hunting activities have brought the sisters together, so she's not knocking them. She also takes the "worst-dressed" prize for this scene. Shannen's in a simple black tank dress, Holly Marie's in tasteful separates as usual, but Alyssa . . . well, Alyssa's costumer couldn't decide whether the character should wear Daisy Dukes with her bare-shoulder Lycra top, or a flowing floral skirt. So she's wearing a skort that incorporates the worst aspects of both garments. Ew. Stop picking clothes out of Tori's cast-off bin on the Spelling lot, Charmed wardrobe people! Then, for some reason, the television gets turned on during all of this "bonding" and we see some news footage of a recent riot that broke out at a block party in the city. Prue expositions that "stuff" like that has been "happening a lot lately." Phoebe: "Random social violence is encouraged by a general decline in ethical thinking, according to my sociology professor." I am so not buying "brainy" Phoebe (eyeglasses accessory included!). Alyssa obviously read that line off a cue-card and stumbled over most of the multi-syllable words. Pheebs continues her thesis, stating that the prof thought that people "don't ask the big questions enough." Prue wonders, "Like 'how did you stay awake in his class'?" Heh. Phoebe says she actually enjoyed the mellow, soft-science sounds of Sociology 101. Then she brings out a book she just purchased; it contains ethics conundrums for discussion. Or as she calls them, "deep, profound [sic] questions." Whatever. Phoebe puts on her glasses and recites one: "What if a building is on fire: Do you save five strangers or a sibling?" Prue: "That's easy -- a sibling." Piper: "Of course." Phoebe smirks and adds, "Ditto!"

Sidebar. Okay. The "Awakened" ep was re-run just recently. That same episode was referenced repeatedly in the last new episode. Didn't the lazy Ps' decision to save Piper from Aroya Fever cause a mini-ninja-itis outbreak that threatened to kill many innocents? Didn't the Halliwells learn from their travails in that ep that pitting one of their own against the survival of the populace was a Very Bad Thing? Don't the writers watch their own friggin' show? Anyway, continuity be damned. Let's move on.

The doorbell rings. Piper tells the callous Ps not to answer any more questions in her absence; she's going to get the door (natch). It's Leo "White-Lighter Slavery" Wyatt. They kiss. Piper wonders why he didn't orb in. Leo says that he wants to "respect" the sisters' "space" since the Ps have been so "tight lately." As if on cue, the callous Ps enter the foyer to looky-loo. Prue wonders if he's shown up for "all of [them]." Can someone turn the hose on Prue-vert (tm MadSketcher), please? The entendre goes straight over Leo's head as he explains that he's shown up to ask Piper out to dinner before "the Paula Cole show." Piper demurs. Leo wonders what her other plans are. Piper explains that she's just "hanging out, spending non-magic time" with her sisters. Leo asks for a raincheck. Prue urges them to go out to dinner while the callous Ps go to the club to "keep an eye" on things. (Because "keeping an eye" is far removed from the act of "lifting a finger.") Piper expositions that she's hired a good assistant manager to do that. Phoebe: "We'll go, anyway." She's going to bring her query book to the bar also, to "stir up trouble." Prue awkward segues: "How about stirring up some margaritas?" Phoebe agrees, as they practically go skipping off, blathering about the outfits they'll wear that evening. Hmm. Cocktails before going to the bar? I wonder if we'll see a very special "intervention" episode next season. Does alcohol mix well with telekinesis, astral projection, and psychic visions? Piper beams at Leo and asks, "So it's a date?" Leo, well aware that he's second choice: "All right."

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