Charmed
Astral Monkey

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Owen: D | Grade It Now!
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Astral Monkey

Scummy apartment building. A goateed drug dealer in a wife beater is expositioning on a cell phone that he never uses his product. Which preempts my question as to why Dr. W would want to harvest his kidney. Oh, sorry. Am I one step ahead of you? Anyway, Dr. W TKs his way into the dealer's apartment by blasting the door open. He quips about making a "house call" and knocks the dealer to the floor. Dr. W injects him with an anesthetic, then whips out a scalpel and starts cutting him open, thankfully off-camera but perplexingly without disinfecting the area or anything. By the way, I'm tired of this show's visual shorthand equating goatees with evil lowlifes. They're really not my thing, but I don't think goateed folk should be stereotyped as anything other than tragically unhip.

Hospital. The sisters have put the chattering chimp sound-effects tape in a laundry cart, and are making their way through the corridors. Piper's freezing people as they go so they can make a stealthy exit. As they turn the corner to the nurses station, Prue stops her sister from freezing the scene because she sees that her and Evan's parking-lot-tryst photos are shown on the television hanging from the ceiling. Because every event in the universe is all about Prue and Evan's such a big star, CNN has devoted its full 24-hour coverage to the story and has even composed theme music and an animated logo to announce breaking developments. Actually, its just a promo for an Evil Tabloid television program pondering, "Who's the mystery woman in Evan Stone's life? Why did he send her flowers?" The callous Ps gape at this. Piper brings them back to the more important storyline: "Hello, bigger problem." Cut to the nurse who witnessed Dr. W's psychic vision concerning his brother-in-law's heart attack. She tells another nurse all about it. Phoebe, overhearing this: "Premonitions for $500, Alex." Zing! Not. Piper interrupts the nurses to ask where she might find Dr. W. They direct her to the records room.

The records room. The sisters enter. Piper freezes the clerk. They look around and spot the jail-ward information still on a terminal screen. They print out the list of discharged criminal patients, and note that the page reads, "Accessed by Dr. C. Williamson." They leave. Good luck finding those untethered monkeys you've been neglecting, girls.

Dr. W's sister's room. Dr. W whispers in her ear that he's "taken care of everything. You're going to be okay." He carries his little organ donation cooler to the nurses station and sets it upon the counter. He tells the nurse to prepare for a transplant; an exact tissue match has been found for his sister.

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Charmed

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