Bite Me

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | Grade It Now!
Suck This

Casa Del Sole. The Sole paces angrily about, fuming over the tardy Phoebe's possible whereabouts. Belinda, ignoring him, fiddles with a Palm Pilot and asks, "What about the Grimlocks?" The Sole misinterprets this, believing Phoebe has fallen prey to that particular sort of demon. Belinda corrects him. Are the Grimlocks to be trusted members of a possible alliance or not? As the phone rings, The Sole mutters that the only person he does not trust is Keats. He picks up his cordless to find Phoebe on the other end, calling on her cell from the Jeep. She explains about the fainting spell and tells him the doctor will be checking her blood for a possible iron deficiency. In the background, Raige winces in pain at the oncoming traffic's headlights. Phoebe then mentions that Raige was attacked by bats. The Sole lifts an eyebrow and repeats this for Belinda's benefit. She locks eyes with him above her Palm Pilot. Phoebe continues that she's heading back to the Manor, and would appreciate it if The Sole could meet her there. He agrees and hangs up the phone. The Sole barks an order for Belinda to gather the faction leaders at the Casa, then Shatners, "Dammit! If the queen wants a war, she's got one!" Fortunately, he does not rend his shirt as he does so. Belinda gapes.

Manor attic. Piper and Phoebe flip through the Book of Shadows in search of dark demonic forces that bite their victims and fly, but at the same time are not vampires. They riffle past entries for the "Manticore" (which elicits terrifying flashbacks for yours truly), the Phoenix, and the "Chupacabra" while the Dolt applies the tingly touch to Raige's numerous wounds. Once she's healed, she announces she's had it for the day and stomps out of the attic to head off to bed. The Dolt joins Piper and Phoebe at the Book and the three joke about the late increase in demonic activity. Piper snickers that "the Demonic Electoral College has called a meeting and they're going to vote in a new Source." Nah. Too easy, and none of the middle managers looked like Katherine Harris, anyway. Though I do wonder what form the Demonic Supreme Court will take. The three giggle about this for a bit, but the giggling dies out as it dawns on them that Piper might be right. No shit, you blockheads. It's about damned time you figured it out. The Dolt solemnly intones, "Evil may have a new leader." In what would be the triumphant return after so long an absence of the Cleansing Burst Of Synchronicity if any of these morons knew what was going on, in rushes The Sole. Phoebe flings herself into his embrace and they cuddle for a moment before he asks after Raige. The Dolt assures him she's fine, but The Sole isn't buying it. "Bats that bite can mean only one thing," he tells them all. Lockjaw? No, that's tetanus. I got it! Cujo. The Sole "guesses" that the exiled vampires are planning to "overtake the Underworld" by converting a Charmed One. Piper gazes at him for a moment, then warily calls out, "[Raige]?"

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