Bite Me

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | Grade It Now!
Suck This

Casa Del Sole. Someone's twisted the right hand off a department store mannequin, painted the stump red, and left it lying on The Sole's desk. The camera pans up to The Sole's stern face, then cuts over to Belinda. She informs him that Queen Betty won't be able to take The Sole's meeting after all. That's supposed to be Queen Betty's hand on the desk? The skin tone is completely off. Whatever. The Sole compliments Belinda on a job well done, and inquires as to the next item on the day's agenda. She reveals "Rowan" is waiting in the antechamber. "The queen would like in on the new alliance," she adds. Rowan? Queen? What? The Sole instructs Belinda to show this Queen Rowan in. She pauses to point at each of the windows. The shades noisily drop one by one, then Belinda turns towards the hall. "He'll see you now," she breathes into the shadows, and out pops Sam. We'll not be calling him Rowan, because if we do, I'll keep looking around for Joanne Worley. Sam thanks The Sole for the audience, and attempts to convey Lizzie's wishes for a reconciliation between her people and his. The Sole refuses to consider any offers from Lizzie and her ilk, and darkly suggests Sam be on his way. Then why did you agree to meet with him in the first place, you jackass? Oh, so Raige can orb into the middle of this secret meeting, which she does, ending up next to the Casa's baby grand piano. Raige gapes, immediately aware of her gaffe, and attempts to fob off some story about popping in from the Casa kitchen to see if The Sole needed anything. Sam eyes her up and down, no doubt entertaining the same thoughts I did regarding the hideousness of her outfit, then strides off to the elevator. I should note we still haven't been told what Sam and Lizzie are, but given the bats and the blinds and the alternative lifestyles on display, I think we all know. Out in the hall, Queen Sam eases the door shut.

Back in the Casa proper, The Sole berates Raige for orbing in when he had Phoebe deliver express instructions not to. Raige sneers at him and asks for her sister, as Piper needs to speak with her. Out in the hallway, Queen Sam has activated his little bat ears, and is listening to every word of the argument through the wall. The Sole snidely suggests Raige orb over to The Bay Mirror. "I'm sure those journalists can keep a secret," he snots. Hee. "Journalists." Cole cracks me up. "Dare I ask," Raige snits, "why it's so dark in here in the middle of the day?" The Sole claims a migraine -- one Raige's presence only serves to exacerbate. "You know what, Cole?" snaps Raige, title-style. "Just bite me." She huffs out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

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