Black As Cole

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
Black as the Bitter, Bitter Heart Of Brad Kern

Upper-level demons. Ensure your throats are properly hydrated.

Fade up on a map of the city, in the attic. The camera pans across it and over to Raige, who flips through the Book of Shadows as Piper impatiently paces behind her. "A demon who likes to kill witches," Raige muses. "Well, that narrows it down to every page in the Book." Piper reminds Raige that the demon in question slays with a dagger and thus has hands, thereby narrowing the field of possible suspects. Raige is ruffled once more, by the way. Fortunately, tonight's blouse is a deep forest green, so the flounces at her neck are more easily ignored than those of the Horror. Raige casually mentions that she heard Piper and the Dolt intend to introduce children into the Manor. Piper halts in mid-pace, raising an eyebrow. "Where did you hear that from?" she ungrammatically inquires. Raige admits that Phoebe told her all about it, then apologizes for breaking "some sort of sister confidentiality clause." Piper brushes this off, and denies that she has any desire to reproduce. "It's too risky," she asserts. A child "would be in constant danger around [them]." Raige pries a bit more, wondering what the Dolt thinks about all this. Piper allows that the Dolt believes there is enough magic flying around the house to ensure the safety of any small child. "Maybe he's right," Raige leads. "Maybe he's not," Piper says curtly, and orders Raige to continue her search. Raige pages past enchantment spells and the entry for time loops before pausing yet again. Drawing upon her Social Services reserves, Raige lets Piper know that there are ways for potential parents to experience the pitfalls of child care prior to pregnancy. Piper sardonically replies, "The next time you pass a baby rental, pick one up for [the Dolt]." "Maybe I will," Raige breathes, the cryptic retort slithering past her overly-glossed lips as the Dolt himself orbs into the attic. He's all business in his orange thermal shirt, asking whether the attic Ps have learned anything about tonight's demon while he was consulting with The Powers That Be. Piper and Raige have scried for the meanie using "the slime from the last victim," and Phoebe and Cole have been sent to the resulting coordinates. The Dolt exposits that with two witches already dead, TPTB are getting tense. Meanwhile, Raige has stumbled across a promising entry. She reads, "Upper-level demon who likes to kill witches using [a dagger], sometimes [Flaming Balls Of Death], and his name is Belthazor." The camera cuts to Belthazor's entry, and it says none of these things. I know. I read it. I think I even transcribed part of it at some point in the past. Should we create a cross-referenced Mighty Big TV Index so that those responsible for these scripts no longer make mistakes such as this? Kidding. Like we're going to do their jobs for them. Anyway, Piper and the Dolt snicker at each other upon hearing the name, and tell Raige why she's fingered the wrong demon. No, not like that. Perverts. As she gazes at the rendering of Belthazor in the Book, Raige expresses shock. While she knew Cole was half-demon, she didn't realize his demonic half was Darth Maul.

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