Blinded By The Whitelighter

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 1 USERS: B+
Blinded by the Dolt

Fade up on the manor kitchen. Piper and Prue play dueling chefs. Piper measures out "one teaspoon of baking powder." Prue counters with "one teaspoon of bat guano." I hope they're sure they can tell one from the other. And where does one buy bat guano, anyway? Something tells me that's a commodity even Treasure Island would overlook when stocking the shelves. Seems Piper's whipping up a little breakfast grub while Prue is mixing some sort of potion. Piper bitches a bit about the potion's stench, and asks Prue if it couldn't have waited until after breakfast. Prue gives Piper an answer that does not address the question asked: "Phoebe has a meeting with that DA investigator, and I didn't want her to go there unarmed." The investigator in question is Reese Davidson from "Sleuthing with the Enemy," and yes, I had to look his name up. The Dolt walks in on them and, wrinkling his nose a bit, asks where the stench is coming from. Prue cracks unwise with, "That would be the lovely smell of Piper's breakfast." Prue fills a small vial with her purple potion as Piper bitches the Dolt out for missing dinner the prior evening. The Dolt reminds Piper that he already apologized for his work-related lateness last night. Piper keeps bitching at him anyway, telling him he could have called her and demanding to know where he was and what he was doing. The Dolt all-too-patiently reminds Piper that his dealings with his other "clients" are confidential. Piper bitches some more, and, distracted by all of her bitching, accidentally slices open her finger. The Dolt moves in for a little of his special tingly healing, as Piper bitches some more. Christ, get her some Pamprin or something. She whines that, because of the nature of the Dolt's job, she has "no choice but to be understanding." The Dolt replies she has to get used to the fact she's "engaged to somebody who works for the CIA." Phoebe distractedly staggers into the kitchen at this point and notes she had no idea the Dolt got a day job as a spy. Prue: "You know, ever since she became a blonde…" Demian: "What's with this 'since' crap?"

Piper offers Phoebe some breakfast, but Phoebe's too nervous about her meeting with Reese, and thus has no appetite. Prue perks over to Phoebe with the vial, telling Phoebe that the contents should ease some of her worries. The potion will "out any demon." Phoebe needs only to slip a little of it into Reese's coffee. If he's from Hell, the potion will cause his throat to constrict, giving Phoebe a chance to run. Phoebe never considered the possibility that "Reese might be evil." Prue wonders why, in that case, Phoebe's so tense about the meeting. Um, Prue? Maybe because Reese is investigating the disappearance of Phoebe's demonic boy toy, whom Phoebe supposedly murdered three episodes ago? Phoebe basically tells Prue the same thing, only she uses more words. Prue reassures her sister that she'll do just fine in the interview, and the Dolt cuts in to suggest Phoebe practice by saying, "As far as I know, Cole is alive and well and could be anywhere." In the glacial pause that follows, Phoebe manages barely to suppress the Cole Guilt Goggle as Prue, Piper, and the Dolt eye her evenly. Phoebe repeats the phrase, and looks to her sisters for approval. Prue tells her it'll work as long as Phoebe doesn't "look as guilty" as she just did.

Phoebe wishes the investigation into Cole's disappearance would come to an end already. Piper reassures her it will be over soon, as "there's nothing to find." Phoebe greets this reassurance with silence, leading Prue to ask, "Is there?" Well, unless Cole squiggled immediately from Phoebe's side in the Mausoleum's mausoleum back to his apartment to clear the place out, there's a closet full of demonic tchotchkes just waiting for its chance to raise pesky suspicions for Reese. Phoebe tells Prue, "Of course not," and turns to leave for her appointment. Prue calls after her to "be careful," Piper glances sideways at the Dolt, and the Dolt looks down, confused.

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