Raige gently suggests he should have simply mailed the thing in, so as not to waste his time. Drake assures her he never wastes his time, and hammily quotes Shakespeare to explain why: "For life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more." "It is a tale told by an idiot," Ann snidely continues for him, now openly competing with him for the teaching position and being hysterically bitchy about it, "full of sound and fury, signifying..." "Nothing!" Drake finishes, stealing Raige's focus away from Ann once more while shooting a subtle glare at the latter. This instant rivalry of theirs is amusing me far more than it should be. Drake exposits that he's studied at Julliard and performed on Broadway while penning a memoir he intends to finish on his "deathbed." "I look forward to reading that," Ann snarks. Heh. Raige, meanwhile, has been scanning the piece of paper, and wonders, "Why aren't any of these credits more than a year long," because she's a fucking moron, and meant, I'm sure, to say "a year old." "Simple, really," Drake replies. "You see, before that I was a demon." Ann predictably freaks as Drake hastily assures them that he's now all man. Though he "hate[s] exposition" -- a bit of metacommentary that was very funny the first time they did it and hasn't been remotely funny since -- he explains that "fifty weeks ago," he "made a deal with a sorcerer" who made him human. The "minor stipulations" to the deal include the fact that Drake got to keep his powers, though if he uses them in an "offensive manner," those powers will transfer to the sorcerer himself, and Drake will "burn for all eternity." Drake seems as bored babbling out all of these details as I am with transcribing them, and eventually futzes distractedly with something on his bike as he winds down. Snerk. "What are you waiting for?" Ann hisses at Raige as his attention drifts. "Vanquish him!" Drake makes noises of protest at this and insists that he simply wants to atone for his demon days, claiming that if they examine his record, they'll find he has little to hide about his past. At this, Ann stomps off in a huff, intent on proving Drake's still dangerous and well worthy of a one-way ticket to The Waste Land, or wherever. As she vanishes, Drake again rises from his bike and gets a little flirty with Raige. Raige is all, "Back off, buddy. I don't know what to make of you." "Why don't we consult the Book of Shadows?" he twinkles before waving his riding goggles around in her face and smiling, "Wanna ride?" I think that was supposed to be dirty. Actually, given the fact that the bulge in his jeans is nearly as big as Recently Revived Brody's, I'm certain that was supposed to be dirty. Ew. Keep it in your pants, Zane.
Episode Report CardDemian: B- | 337 USERS: C+
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