Entertainingly enough, Drake makes much the same point. "I thought you guys had lots of experience with demons who were human," he mutters. "You married one, didn't you?" "Yes, and divorced," Phoebe snaps back. "How did you know that?" Well, maybe he found out about it when you were crowned Queen Of All Evil in the darkest pit of Hell during a black ceremony that featured human sacrifice, you stupid cow. God, I hate this show. Drake's reply is far more mild than mine, however, as he simply grins, "You know. Gossip around the office cauldron." "Anyway," he sighs, changing the topic, "you girls don't understand what it's like to be judged simply by the way you were born." With that, he snaps his fingers, and for some idiotic reason morphs into Cyrano de Bergerac, complete with nose. No, seriously. No. Seriously. Billy Zane blurts out a few of Cyrano's lines about his "vile protuberance" in an exaggerated French accent as Phoebe goofs and giggles and floods her panties, because it's Valentine's Day and she's dateless and he just made a dick joke. Or something like that. HATE. Raige mumbles something about how many people Drake's killed over his long demonic life, and he immediately takes umbrage, snapping himself back into his regular clothing and form as he vows, "I never killed anyone, except demons. Killed plenty of them." "Join the club," Phoebe groans, once again making it All About Her. "Sucks, doesn't it?" You suck. Shut up, Phoebe. Raige calls Drake on what she believes to be an outrageous lie, but he insists that -- get this -- he's nurtured "from the day [he] was hatched" a love of literature and the human emotions it captures, and so could never bring himself to off anybody. "I always found a way around doing that," he shrugs. Phoebe's smitten. Shut up some more, Phoebe. Raige remains uncertain, however, and orbs off to consult Piper after ordering Drake to fill Phoebe in on the rest of his backstory himself. Once Raige has disappeared through the ceiling, Drake smiles and opens with, "So you like Gene Kelly movies?" Phoebe, a bit taken aback but basking in the attention, replies, "Love 'em. Why?" Drake simply smiles some more. Hmmm. I wonder what he could possibly have in mind? This should blow. Whatever the hell it is.
Episode Report CardDemian: B- | 337 USERS: C+
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