Carpe Demon

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | Grade It Now!
Zane's World

Meanwhile, down in Hell, AP Ann Cusack is frantically trying to free Special Ed Ann from the shackles in which the latter has been placed. Roché suddenly appears behind AP Ann and forces her back into Special Ed Ann's body by poking a finger through her chest. Reconstituted Ann starts whining something about her wretched lot in life, but I was too distracted too listen to her because it becomes annoying obvious that she could simply slip her tiny hands out of the gigantic shackles if she weren't such a blockhead. And speaking of blockheads, Roché's never heard of Robin Hood. So he demands that Ann fill him in on the topic. Only he does so by pushing his scraggly, weaselly, beady-eyed, hideous face into hers, and she looks like she's about to hork into his mouth. Heh.

Manor kitchen. Piper, prepping the Roché vanquish on the center island, screams into the cordless at Phoebe, demanding the latter return to the Manor with Drake at once. Unfortunately, Phoebe's cell signal goes out, so Piper can only slam the phone down in frustration as the Dolt lopes into the room to offer tepid words of support and precious little else, as he's taking Elizabeth Dennehy's earlier warning seriously. After Piper gripes about his uselessness for a bit -- nice of you to finally realize it, hon -- Raige orbs in with news of Drake's latest exploits, which she picked up from the "satellite" TV they've got tucked away somewhere at Not!warts. Raige flicks on the handy little much-abused television set in the kitchen, and the three catch a brief report on Drake's armored van robbery. Piper frets about the disintegrating situation for a brief moment before shifting into action. She orders Raige to compose a vanquishing spell for Drake on the off-chance their Roché potion fails, and also send the Dolt into the other room to call Detective Doormat so someone on the police force knows what's really going on. Once the Dolt's disappeared into the front hall, Raige rambles on endlessly for about eighty-three minutes, and the only thing that came out of her mouth during that time that's worth mentioning is the fact that she hasn't seen the delightful Ann Cusack in a while.

Meanwhile, the Dolt's busy giving Detective Doormat the skinny on the current situation. The Doormat howls something about Drake possibly triggering Pepper Anderson's memory, so the Dolt instructs the Doormat to keep her as far away from the action as possible. No such luck, naturally, as Pepper sidles up with the shocking news that she's been reassigned as the Doormat's partner. "So, where are we going?" she grins. The much put-upon Doormat rolls his eyes and darts out of the frame. Shut up, Doormat. I hope the Dazzling Sheila divorces your boring ass.

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