Centennial Charmed

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Demian: C | Grade It Now!
Centennial Charmed

Cole: [shoots Raige an icily triumphant sneer] She's not gonna throw it. [gazes at Phoebe, who gawks wordlessly in return] Are ya? [more gawking; he continues with regret beginning to color his voice] We've been through so much together, haven't we? [gawking; self-doubt creeps into Cole's tone] Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it. [gawk -- Cole no longer believes what he's saying, but he soldiers on] Not even this. [Phoebe stops gawking long enough to smirk; Cole despairs, lost] We're meant to be together. Prison Bitch Phoebe: I don't think so.

Phoebe finally whips the vial at him, and Cole explodes in flame. They take their time with this vanquish, making with the Very Special Hundredth Episode effects by showing us Cole's skull beneath his screaming face. However, in the end, he goes just like they all do, disappearing in a billowing gout of fire. Poor Cole. You deserved better, and you in fact received better, once upon a time. But then that fucking idiot Brad Kern had to go and pick up your option for the fifth season, and everything went to hell. Sniff.

The room begins to spin around Raige as a fast-moving supernatural fog washes across the city skyline, brightening the lights considerably. When the whirling stops, Raige finds herself exactly where she began in the hall, only the various antiques and carpets have been restored. Piper waddles out from the kitchen, scarfing down ice cream straight from the carton. "Where have you been?" she asks mildly. Far too mildly, if you ask me, for we learn that time moved forward at the same rate in both realities. So, Piper watched Raige orb out the previous evening in the club's office, never saw her orb back in, didn't see her again for an entire day, and not once had the Dolt orb off in search of her? Whatever. Raige flings her arms around Piper and her distended belly and vows never to move from the Manor. Phoebe enters and wonders why Raige is so perky. "What did you do?" Phoebe side-eyes suspiciously. Raige grimaces all "Busted!"

Casa De Los Muertos. The Glamorous Ladies emerge from the elevator to find the shattered French doors banging against each other in the wind from the bay. Piper and Phoebe cautiously enter the darkened living room, Phoebe calling Cole's name. Raige casually strides over to the French doors and locks them while insisting that Cole's gone for good. "It just seems far too easy," the unconvinced Piper states. "I don't know how I feel about that." "We don't have to look over our shoulders anymore," Raige claims. "It's over." Phoebe retrieves the saccharine photo of herself and Cole from the carpet, where he'd dropped it way back in the pre-credits sequence. She runs her fingers over it and shrugs, "I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Piper quietly suggests that they leave, and turns to reenter the elevator. Phoebe restores the photo to its place on the entrance table while Raige hangs back for a moment. She glances around the apartment one last time and breathes, "Happy birthday, Cole." Oh, please. "Happy birthday! I'm sorry I killed you three minutes ago, but I hope you have a good one, doll!" Stow it, you dingbat. Raige follows her sisters into the elevator, and the doors silently slide shut as we fade to black.

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