Back at the Casa, Cole's on his knees before Not Candy, and you'll have to insert your own tasteless jokes about that development, because I've got Craptin to transcribe. "Ribus uero fecit orum," Not Candy chants as an intense beam of white light connects his outstretched palms to Cole's forehead. "Bitis danae arca," he continues. "Convenio hospito fortis mundis." Just once, I want them to come up with something translatable for these rituals. Craptin thus chanted, Cole exhales with a shudder that makes it sound as if someone reached over and tweaked his nipple. Go back and listen to it again if you don't believe me. He rises to his feet and enthuses about the new sensations of heightened power that are making him feel alive for the first time in months and wah. Not Candy prepares to escort Cole...somewhere else. To whatever plane of existence it is, I suppose, where Avatars frolic and gambol when they're not planning to remake the universe in their own image. You know. There. Cole "uh-uhs" and reminds Not Candy of their agreement. First Cole "get[s] [his] wife back once and for all"; then he joins in on the Avatar games. Not Candy is shocked and appalled. "That's what you wanted?" he asks with barely-concealed disgust. Dude, that's what I've been asking for two goddamned years. "Your new powers can't affect love," Not Candy adds. Cole, naturally, has a cunning plan. He'll alter the one event in the past that led to the destruction of his relationship. You mean when Ian forced you to smoke that guest witch in the attic, leading Phoebe to smash the Belthazor-specific power-stripping potion on the floor? Or was it when you entered into that shady deal with The Source Of All Evil to reverse time, inadvertently delaying the Dolt in the Underworld and thereby contributing in your own small way to Prue's death? Or was it when you inhaled The Hollow to help vanquish the Source, and unwittingly became the Source yourself? The answer, of course, is "none of the above," because any of those options would make sense -- particularly the first one -- and Cole is now, lest we forget, crazy! Also, Shannen Doherty would sooner wipe Alyssa Milano's ass after darling Lyssie's taken a massive, messy dump than rejoin the show, but that's neither here nor there as far as alternate plotlines for the episode go. How cool would the first option have been, though? We'll have to debate it on the boards, unfortunately, because I frankly don't have time to detail it here.
In any event, Cole intends to prevent Raige from reuniting with Piper and Phoebe after Prue's funeral, thereby preventing the reconstitution of the Power of Three. "Undo what was to change what is," he clarifies. Not Candy warns that "changing the past to create a new reality has unforeseen consequences," even for Cole. Cole vows that he couldn't care less: "I am not spending another hundred birthdays without her." Fool. Not Candy shakes his head and smears away in silence rather than stay to watch Cole screw everything up and die. Cole moves to the center of the room, buttons his jacket, spreads his arms, and chants, "Magna tempus dormiebat ribus." And you needed to button your jacket for this...why, exactly?