Zankou and Dolta, carrying torches, wander through a chamber littered with ancient Egyptian debris including, apparently, a discarded mummy. Had I ever seen The Mummy, this is the point where I'd make some snide remark about Oded Fehr's role in said film. However, I have not and never will see The Mummy, and besides, when this scene first unreeled last Sunday night, I was too busy struggling through the state of shock into which this setting had hurled me. "Oh, my God!" I gasped. "They're actually going to explain the Avatars' Egyptian backstory? Now? After I ranted about the fact that we'd never hear anything about it ever? Typewriting crack monkeys suck ass!" And, long story short, that's exactly what they do. Um. The explaining of backstory thing, not the sucking of ass. Just so we're clear. Zankou leads a wary Dolta over to a wall filled with hieroglyphs and hots his way through the following bit of exposition: "Thousands of years ago," the Avatars remade the world from their base in Egypt, "but they never told people of the ultimate cost." At this last, the camera lands on a rendering of Anubis escorting some poor soul to the other side. "There's a price to pay for Utopia," Zankou cautions Dolta as the two contemplate the image, "a price that you suspect, but don't yet know about." The Egyptians did know about it, however, "and they rose up against the Avatars and stopped them the first time -- for good reason." Zankou goes on to note that Brody also figured out what was really going on, and "sacrificed everything" to weaken the Avatars so Zankou could draw Dolta away from The Collective and lay a little archaeological science on his massive ass. "Brody was crazy," Dolta seethes. Shout-out? "Brody was right!" Zankou cries. "You know deep down that there is something very wrong with this world, [Dolta], something you never foresaw in your myopic zeal to try to make it all better." And that's the second episode in a row in which a character has correctly used "myopic" in a sentence. What do you want to bet both Cameron Litvack and Henry Alonso Myers blew that word on a high school vocab test ten years ago and have been desperately trying to rid themselves of the associated shame ever since? "People have no free will anymore," Zankou explains. "At least not completely. The Avatars now dictate their destinies, and you let it happen!" This is all, of course, A Very Bad Thing Indeed, but I'm certain Zankou will find some way to make it all better. Because he's hot. Zankou finally urges Dolta to figure out for himself what's really going on and, once Dolta's done that, to return to help Zankou undo The Change. Dolta defiantly tosses his torch aside and angrily orbs out of the tomb with his undies in a tremendous wad. Once Captain Angry Pants is gone, Zankou stalks over to the hieroglyph wall to, um, snag some fabulous wardrobe ideas for the costume party he's going to throw down in Hell once this is all over. Or something like that.
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 311 USERS: C+
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