Charmed Again, Part I

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 3 USERS: A+
Charmed Again, Part The First

Attic. Phoebe with the "What's up?" Piper stomps to the BoS, telling them all it's time to ask Grams what the hell is going on. "'Your destiny awaits,'" she snidely mimics. "'Everything happens for a reason.' Well, it's time to summon her transparent ass and find out what that 'reason' is." Snicker. We love Piper when she's talking trash about Grams. Piper furiously repeats the earlier summoning spell, ending by slamming her open palms onto the BoS with a resounding thump. Swirling Cloud Of Glowing Golf Balls. Hi, Grams! She's a bit indignant at being summoned twice in one day. Piper drops the Rose bomb. Grams feigns ignorance. Piper calls her on it. Grams claims she's "sworn to secrecy" on the matter. "By who?" Piper ungrammatically demands. The disembodied voice of Finola Hughes responds, "By me." A second SCOGGB deposits Finola on the carpet next to Grams. Or maybe they're hovering above it. I have no idea. Finola bares her terrifying rack of choppers in a spooky close-up as the Tinkly Chords of Imminent Resolution splatter across the soundtrack.

Main hallway. The Mummy races in toting a flashlight, Darryl hot on his heels. The Mummy's obtained a search warrant, and tells Darryl to keep his yapping trap shut. "Follow me," he orders, and the two head for the staircase.

Attic. Finola hesitantly cops to her abandoned bastard love child. She kept the whole thing secret because she worried about "reprisals." She states that TPTB might have denied the Ps their "birthright" as witches had They known about Rose. After Finola divorced Big Daddy's delinquent ass, her freak was gotten on quite thoroughly with Sam the Butcher. Kidding. Sam the Whitelighter. Cole hears the bit about the Whitelighter and snarks an aside to the Dolt. "Apples don't fall too far from the forbidden tree, I see." Piper shushes him harshly. "Go on," she tells her mother. Finola fondly remembers the girls as being "only toddlers" at the time who "thought Mommy got a little fat." I'll rant about this here: We learn presently that Rose was born in 1977, making Prue seven years old, Piper five, and Phoebe three. When I was seven years old and my younger sister was five, we both knew damn well Ma had a bun in the oven. So, this "Mommy got a little fat" thing they're trying to pull? Cute, but there's no way in hell I'm buying it as an explanation. Anyway, Finola gets a bit teary-eyed reminiscing about the decision she made with Grams and Sam to give Rose away at birth. Finola gets as busy with the exposition as she did with Sam. The tramp. The two took the infant to "a local church and asked the nun there to find her a good home, and [the penguin] found one -- a very good home." Grams hastily agrees that the home was, indeed, Good. Phoebe asks for the bottom line. Grams and Finola confirm that Rose is Piper's and Phoebe's half-sister and "sister witch," due to the shared Finola bloodline. However, Finola adds that Rose, Phoebe, and Piper must be reunited in the manor for the Power of Three to reactivate itself. Grams, kicking it with the episode title: "Charmed. Again." Aw. Only Grams could pull that one off.

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