Charmed Again, Part I

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 4 USERS: A+
Charmed Again, Part The First

Take him back,
Take him away.
Remove him now --
Don't let him stay.

Phoebe picks up the rhyme:

We call the spirits to help undo
And send him off to...Timbuktu!

Swirling Cloud Of Glowing Golf Balls, and the Mummy vanishes from the carpet. "Tim-buk-tu?" Piper enunciates carefully. "You sent him to Tim-buk-TU?" Phoebe claims ignorance of other geographical locations that rhyme with "undo," though I hear Peru is quite nice this time of year. Well, if you manage to avoid the mudslides and the anti-government terrorists. Cole volunteers to retrieve the Mummy and squiggles out, nonchalantly scratching his forehead as he does so. Piper, meanwhile, retreats to the BoS, bitching at her mother all the way. "You cannot float in here after all these years and say, 'Oh! Gosh! I forgot! You got a sister!' Especially not today. Of all days." Finola tries to smooth things over with crap about losing Prue and finding Rose as being "their path" and "their destiny" and that Piper shouldn't "fight it," because what Alyssa and Aaron say goes. Not so much the last bit, but I think you knew that by now. Grams, realizing there's nothing more the witchy duo of ghosts can do, takes Finola's hand and swirls out with her.

Stairwell. Phoebe, Piper, and the Dolt descend to the main hall. The Dolt can't track Rose's location "because technically she's not a witch yet." Phoebe natters about the clues involving the church and the penguin, while Piper insists the only reason she's getting involved at all is to protect an innocent, not to have some sort of twisted family reunion. All three shut up when they reach the main floor to find Rose waiting in the entranceway for them. Rose apologizes for the intrusion, noting that the door was open, then loses her nerve and bolts for the porch. Phoebe leaps to stop her, taking her arm and leading her back into the Manor. "We were just going to look for you!" she perks overbrightly. "Welcome! I'm Phoebe, and this is..." "Piper," Rose finishes for her. "I've, uh, been to your club. Pretty great." Well, the "great" bit is subjective, of course, but I thought all three of the original Ps owned it. Anyway, Rose introduces herself as Paige, and I suppose I really should get used to calling her that. Sorry, but I hate the name. Phoebe doesn't share my opinion, of course. "Another P," she enthuses. "Imagine that!" Shut up, Phoebe. Piper forces herself to offer her hand in friendship. As she and Rose shake, the physical contact initiated by Phoebe with Rose is now completed by Piper. The reconstituted Charmed Ones are bathed in a bluish white glow from the chandelier above. Rose, of course, freaks. "What was that?" she gasps, apparently unused to celebrating her place in the circle of womynhood and whatnot. "I think that means you were meant to be here," opines the Dolt.

Before Rose can splutter, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean, jackass?" Fruma-Shax whirls his way through the front door, tossing the new Ps to the floor. He does that mouth-breathing, sideways-slither-shuffle down the hallway towards the prone ladies, but before he can fling them through a couple of walls, the Dolt -- get this -- leaps onto his back to ride him like a bronco. Silly Dolt. The new Ps take advantage of this intensely homoerotic situation to race to the attic. Fruma-Shax flips the Dolt into the parlor, rendering the Dolt unconscious. I am loving this, let me tell you. Fruma-Shax then heads for the stairs. Up in the attic, Piper drags Rose in her tottering open-toed heels to the BoS while Phoebe locks the door. Flipping through the Book, Piper instructs Rose to recite the vanquish with herself and Phoebe. "What are you, witches?" Rose asks incredulously. "Yep, and we're hoping you're one too," Phoebe replies. Fruma-Shax busts through the door at this point, growling like the Tasmanian Devil. The Tasmanian Devil rules, by the way. For the spell itself, see above. Shax swirls a bit in agony, then disappears into an explosion of yellow sparks, just as he did the last time they pulled this crap on him. "That's not enough," Phoebe breathes. "Shax was only the messenger. We've got to get The Source." Rose repeats, "'The Source'? Of what?" "Of all evil," Piper allows. Rose wrinkles her nose up in disgust. "What have you guys turned me into?" She spins on her heel and darts out of the attic. Piper and Phoebe halfheartedly follow behind, calling out, "Paige?" Cut to black.

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