Death Becomes Them

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Tim Whoooooo? Inspector Whaaaaaa?

Trudeau Memorial, formerly Andy's House Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, and BORING! Long story short, Pepper Anderson and her massive rack make with the threats again, some more, so the Doormat decides to take a vacation, but not before he warns her and her humongous mammaries not to take further action against the Manor Morons, who, he insists, are "above reproach." Pepper Anderson and her mondo-gigunda kachongas tell the Doormat to blow it out his ass.

Nonexistent Attic. The gals trudge in wearily from the upper stairwell, half-heartedly running through the very few vanquishing options they have for Zankou. Seems the spell they used on the Source is useless, Phoebe asserts, as Zankou "will be ready for that." Uh. Whatever. There's less than a minute left, so I'm not even going to bother with the stupidity of that statement, except to say this: Consider the puny little brain that produced it. Piper's more concerned over why Zankou vanquished Corpse Fucker himself. Raige proposes a little Book abuse to solve that particular conundrum, so the ladies turn their collective attention to the Book's stand. Which is empty. D'oh! "Zankou!" Raige uchs. "Yeah, but how did he get it?" Phoebe dims. "Doesn't matter," Piper duhs. "He's got it now." "The question," Raige sighs, dropping her head into her hand, "is what's he gonna do with it?"

Well, for starters, he's gonna sit on a bier down in the Underworld with the Book in his lap, giddily flipping through the pages while giggling, "Now the fun really begins!" God, I hope you're telling the truth, Zankou, 'cause I sure as hell can't take another episode as dull as this one.

Rather than fading to black, we actually fade to a "To Be Continued" title card. Next week: The season finale, which features public exposure of magic and a SWAT team and use of deadly force and is therefore entirely unlike "All Hell Breaks Loose." No, seriously. No. Seriously. Do you really believe they'd recycle the plotline from one of the best episodes they ever made? Whaddya think they are -- dumb or something?

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