...into the nighttime closing travelogue. Back at the Manor, The Lippy Spastic enters the nonexistent attic to find The Retarded Bimbo curled up on Aunt Pearl's much-abused sofa, defacing the priceless Book of Shadows with a Sharpie. The Spastic attempts to smack the Book out of The Retard's hands before The Retard can inflict any more damage upon the priceless family heirloom, but she simply manages to twitch herself into a...you know what? Fuck this episode in general, and fuck this scene in particular. The only thing of any sort of importance at all here is Raige admitting to The Retard that the gals are mighty worried about the demonic incursion into Not!warts, like, uh, duuuuuuh. Stupid show.
Down in the foyer, Phoebe answers the doorbell to find Vex Pexter on the front porch, and flirting, and apologies, and flirting some more, AND MY GOD WOULD YOU JUST FUCK HIM ALREADY AND GET THIS WHOLE STUPID STORYLINE OVER WITH ALREADY? GOD! DAMMIT!
Oh, and would you look at that? The scene's over. Hooray!
Preschool Of The Damned. Piper and the Dolt take their seats for the dead-eyed Psycho's insipid Cinderella pageant, and the only thing I feel compelled to note about this scene is the following: Piper's evidently hauled some random infant she found out in the gutter indoors for the festivities. Either that, or some genius on the production staff recast Tiny Gay Chris with a child who's even younger than the last one was. Not to mention thinner. With more hair. And just when I was growing fond of the fugly little blubber wad. Sigh. Stupid Charmed ruins everything! And with that, we finally fade to black.
Next week, The Retarded Bimbo casts a spell that somehow forces Phoebe and Vex to get married. No, I don't get it, either. And given how utterly brainless this show has become, I'm sure I don't want to. Have fun!