The Closing Travelogue spins us around the nighttime city before taking in the dawn and depositing us back at the Manor at some point the following afternoon. Up in the Bridal Boudoir -- and you can tell it's Piper's room because of the fireplace in the mirror's reflection -- Raige sits at the vanity with hair in curlers, applying her makeup. Phoebe and Piper approach, already clad in their bridesmaids' dresses, and I have to admit: despite the fabric's off-putting resemblance to certain flocked wallpapers I recall from various suburban ranch houses circa 1974, the gowns are easily the most flattering bridesmaids' dresses I've ever seen on this show. Go figure. Piper asks if Raige is certain she wouldn't like to borrow Piper's own bridal attire for the occasion. "Yeah," Raige replies, "yeah, I am." "All right!" Piper smirks. "Let's go conjure you a very special dress!" So much for those pesky prohibitions on personal gain, huh? CANCELLED!
Sometime later, we find ourselves down in the dining room, where The Dead-Eyed Psycho's silently and telekinetically peppering the moist interior of Raige's wedding cake with ground glass. When Darling Henry approaches, however, The Psycho pretends he was just surreptitiously swiping a little icing. Wicked child. Eventually, Darling Henry leads The Dead-Eyed Ringbearer onto the sun porch, where about thirty people we've never seen before and shall never see again await the start of the ceremony. Chrissssty and The Retard are the last of the guests to take their seats, which they do just before Piper and Phoebe gracelessly clomp through the room to park themselves next to the female Episcopal minister conducting the service, despite the fact that Raige is Catholic. La, la, la, la! Moving along! Incidentally, Piper's dumped Tiny Gay Chris onto The Retard's lap for the proceedings, and Coop's invited himself, because he loves weddings. Just so you know. Rose McGowan eventually appears on the stairs in what I've read is a vintage wedding gown they pulled from a Los Angeles area costume supplier's at her insistence (and NOT because they no longer have the costuming budget to sling these women in Vera Wang whenever the occasion calls for it, so SHUT UP YOU HATAHS), and good call on McGowan's part if that's true, because this antique ivory lace construction combined with -- let's face it -- her striking good looks easily make her the loveliest bride I've seen on this show in the last seven and a half years. Raige makes her way through the center parlor and down the tiny aisle on the sun porch. After Darling Henry marvels at how beautiful she is, the ceremony begins.